The Land of Chaos: A Lost Past

Batsu stopped and looked at the girl with the flame colored hair. She'd just asked if something was wrong and he wanted to nod or to say yes. Clearly his mood concerned her and it had not been intentional in the least. He was silent for a moment. Finally he gave her an answer. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking." A lie, but why should he give he reason to worry. His problems were not hers to burden. He didn't wish to trouble anyone, and he'd already done as much with Cross and Alice. He lowered his gaze and continued. He'd also burdened many others. While he had been given his own body, he still remembered the things he'd done. The villages he'd destroyed, the people he'd killed, and the many souls he'd devoured, but what bothered him the most was that burning desire to crush the Onihana clan. They were the cause of this, but he too had to claim responsibility. He shook his head and looked to Saionna his grey eyes a bit shadowed, but he managed a smile. "What would you like eat for dinner," he asked.

Saionna looked at Batsu curiously, awaiting an answer. He said he was fine, but was he actually?  "Thinking about what?" What could he be thinking about with such a serious expression? Her face went blank in confusion when he asked what she wanted for dinner. "Um...er..." What did one have for dinner? Thanks to Silence, she knew the general idea of what it was, but...not what one ate. After a minute, her gaze fell and she shifted lightly as she walked, thoroughly confused. She'd helped Hunter cook earlier, but she didn't remember what it was called. Weren't they having...whatever that was, for dinner?

He hadn't expected her to ask him what he was thinking about. He more or less thought she'd let it go. He didn't face her as he spoke. "About the group. We all are working for Silence, but eventually there has to be an end. I'm thinking of the future,"he told her. Batsu thought about what he'd just said. Eventually things would have to come to an end. What end? He wasn't an optimistic person, so he didn't think everyone would have a happy ending. Saionna was still plagued with Madness and he could succumb to it. He could not escape what he had become. Fara and DK and Alice were merely children at a glance. Who was to say this fight against madness wouldn't break them. Boreas had his mind on whatever being had appeared from ice and Hunter was no longer immortal now that he'd drawn the blade from the underground cavern which he'd been bond to. Finally there was Cross who's memories had been returned. None of them were guaranteed to live through this and if they did, what good would come of it? These were the things he didn't speak aloud. These were there things that bothered him so. He smiled as Saionna seem to be unable to answer the question of what was for dinner. "It's fine, you don't have to answer."

Saionna was quiet as Batsu spoke. She knew that all things had an end. She'd brought many ends about herself. Was the end as scary as everyone else made it out to be? "What do you think of the future?" she asked curiously. She wanted to know what kind of future he saw before and after the end. Well...maybe it would be the end of everyone being together, but not the end of their lives. So...it wasn't really the 'end'. Right? After a moment's silence, Saionna thought of something and then smiled, looking at Batsu. "What's your favorite thing to eat for dinner?" She waited for his answer. "Then I want that for dinner," she told him with a smile.

He thought the future was unpredictable and bleak. "I think that once madness is contained, the future will be brighter," he answered. "The world wasn't always this dark. There was a time where the skies were brighter and the animals flourished across the lands." He stopped when she asked what his favorite meal was. "Grilled meat." He didn't really care if it was cooked or not, but for the sake of being normal, he are things cooked. Batsu smiled when Saionna said she wanted that for dinner. He'd let Hunter know when they got back. "How do you see the future, Saionna?"

"...maybe," Saionna said lightly. She wasn't sure if she believed that. She had different thoughts about Madness. "It...it wasn't?" she asked, aqua blue eyes looking towards the red haired male. "They did?" The thought of there being tons of animals everywhere...it was weird. Birds in the sky that weren't infected? Little land animals that didn't attack without provocation? Saionna tilted her head and looked down. It was...a weird thought. Madness was all she knew. She seemed to shrink when Batsu asked how she saw the future. "Um..." She wanted to be bright and cheerful for Batsu, but she wasn't sure about the future. It was a new concept to her. She glanced to Batsu before looking down as if guilty of something. "What if...what if we can't contain it?" she asked, shifting lightly where she stood. "What if...Madness isn't really...unnatural?" She glanced to him before quickly looking back down. "What...if...it's so hard to contain because...this is how everything naturally is..?" What if this was how nature was really supposed to be? She didn't understand how there had been a time when people didn't kill other people or when animals didn't attack out of the blue. Saionna's gaze quickly shot to in front of her when she heard shifting grass, only for a bunny to hop in front of them several feet away. Aqua blue eyes stared at it for a moment before their owner quickly moved behind Batsu. Saionna pressed her face to the back of Batsu's shoulder, hiding the creature from her view and holding onto his arm. "Don't let me hurt it," she squeaked, her grip tight on him. She didn't want to hurt it, but there was something in her that did. She didn't want that side to win.

Admittedly the thought had crossed his mind, but what good would it do to think in such a way? His wings shifted lightly and he shook his head. "If you're right, then maybe it's time for the world to start anew." Humans had done many wrongs and madness gave power to creatures not humans. It made them stronger and turned the predators into prey. The thought was almost disturbing. Could Saionna be right? Could madness be natural? A way to wipe out the human race and give way a new beginning? He was sort of okay with the theory. After all, look what the Onihana had done. They'd toyed with souls and thus he'd been born. His wings dropped, he was suddenly tired. He paused when Saionna was suddenly behind him, gripping his arm. He'd almost turned on her in defense, but stopped short when he saw the bunny and was told to keep it safe. Batsu was confused and it showed on his face. Why did she think it was a danger to such an innocent creature? He sensed no madness, so why? "It's okay, Saionna. No need to hurt it. It's not a threat."

Saionna kept her face buried against Batsu's shoulder so she didn't have to look at the creature. It didn't have Madness in it, she knew that. But...she wondered if maybe that was why she wanted to hurt it. There was still Madness in her. She knew it. She felt it. She was sure Batsu knew it too. But she was afraid that Madness wasn't the thing controlling her actions. She was born of Madness, so what if she was Madness? What if that was just how her mind and body functioned? The red haired female kept her grip on Batsu's arm and shook her head. "I knoooww," she whined quietly when Batsu told her it wasn't a threat. "I don't...want to hurt it, but...but I do want to hurt it," she said quietly, guilt and a small bit of fear in her voice. She was afraid of hurting something that wasn't a threat and then Batsu turning her away. And then the rest of the group would turn her away too. Or...or even kill her. She was afraid. She didn't want to hurt innocent things, and she didn't want to die. "Please don't let me hurt it..."

Batsu looked at the red haired female when she spoke. It surprised him that she was genuinely fearful of her own actions. He nodded lightly. "I understand. " He did. Batsu had been saved from Madness, but there were times where he sincerely wanted to devour souls as he'd done before. The thing was, he'd been that way for so long, that not doing it felt almost wrong. It was a muscle memory that he could not always deny. His eyes shifted to the rabbit and he knelt down to the creature, holding out his hand to it. "Come here," he said calmly. The grey eyed male didn't look to Saionna as he spoke, his eyes on the rabbit. "I would think let you hurt it. I know what you're feeling. The need is there, the want to do something you don't wish to, but you can fight it." Grey eyes shifted and he met her gaze. "We both can fight it together." He smiled at her.

Saionna stayed behind Batsu, cringing as he knelt down to try to get the rabbit to come closer. She swallowed and took a shaky breath, her eyes fearful. She almost took a step back when the bunny cautiously hopped forward, sniffing the air towards Batsu as it did. She chanced a glance down at him when he looked up at her. And then he said they could fight it together. They...they could? "We can...fight it...t...together..?" she asked with a small frown. She was confused, but...thankful. Saionna slowly knelt down next to Batsu, but kept mostly behind him, keeping a nervous hold on his arm. She swallowed. "I...don't have...to hurt it..?"

He had doubts, but they could try. Trying never hurt...much. He supposed thinking like that wouldn't do them any good though. "Yes," he teplied. "We can. It might be difficult. Madness remains within you and...." He was hesitant to finish what he wanted to say. He let out a small sigh. "And what I was before still haunts me. We can figure it out along the way, besides, two is better than one." He looked at the bunny. "No, you don't have to hurt it." He waited until the creature was close and then he gently pet it's fur. "See, it's fine."

Saionna looked at Batsu as he spoke, as if he were telling her something extremely important. He was, though. He was trying to help her. That was important. When he told her that what he used to be was still with him, she looked at him in awe. "A...and you can control it..?" she asked, her aqua and black eyes surprised. Or at least, he was trying to. He was doing a much better job than she was. When he said that they don't have to hurt it, she hesitantly reached her hand out towards the bunny. When her fingers brushed its fur, she tensed a little, but soon relaxed a bit. When she did though, she let out a sigh, and a blue soulmist escaped her clawed fingers on her free hand. She quickly jumped and pulled her hand against her chest, her eyes wide as the bunny ran away. She scrambled to her feet, suddenly looking horrified. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" she stuttered quickly, her eyes wide. When the mist escaped, all she could hear was it whispering to Batsu that she was going to kill the creature. She didn't realize that the mist had really been silent, but instead thought that Batsu had heard and maybe thought she'd really been trying to kill it.

"Most of the time," he admitted. Batsu didn't feel the need to be sheepish about admitting such things. It was the truth. He did try and control that urge, and sometimes he needed Cross there to instill some sense into him, but yes, he managed just fine for the most part. He smiled as she knelt and petted the rabbit, but tension ran through him when he saw the mist. He could practically taste the madness, even though it had been for only a brief moment. When Saionna became startled, he stood as well, the rabbit long forgotten. The only thing that crossed his mind was concern for her, but a tiny voice in the darkest corners of his mind thought about how gratifying it would be to put an end to that madness by eating her soul. That way it would be one less creature of madness in the world, and Saionna wouldn't have to fear harming anyone anymore. "No, it's fine. Rabbits can be jumpy." He glanced over his shoulder. "Let's head back. The others have probably come back by now."

"How...how do you do it?" Saionna asked quietly, tense and small at the question. "Do you..." She trailed off. "Does it...hurt...to repress it..?" she asked, aqua eyes glancing to Batsu. It hurt her head to try and control it, honestly. She wanted to tell him that, but she was afraid. There was a lot she was afraid to tell him. But she trusted him more than anyone else. She had saved him and he had saved her. And he was helping her. And for all that, she felt some sort of connection to him. She wanted to believe that he wouldn't hurt her or leave her behind, but the voices insisted that he would. When Batsu told her it was fine, and that rabbits were just jumpy, Saionna concluded that he probably hadn't heard her head voices afterall and was a bit relieved. She swallowed lightly nonetheless. "Mnm...yeah...okay," she said with a nod, taking a step back from where they'd just encountered the rabbit. The creature was...oh, what was the word? It was small, and fluffy and pure looking. She believed the word was...cute. She didn't want to hurt cute things like that. She wanted to help them. Saionna turned to follow Batsu, not quite remembering the path they'd taken to get here in the first place.

How did he do it? Batsu didn't have a direct answer for that, but he had a reason behind trying so hard to ignore the urges. "Usually I remember what my goal is and the position I was in before I got a second chance. I used to be nothing more than just a soul before, and I wandered until hatred consumed me, just like madness consumed these creatures. I had a choice, but they didn't. I hurt a lot of people on my own free will, these creatures are hurting people against their wills and the burden will weigh heavy on them. Then there are wandering souls, lost souls that need refugee before they become turn into something like me. I guess I just keep my focus on the important task at hand to prevent history from repeating itself." He was silent for a moment when questioned if it hurt him to repress the urges. "Not really. I mostly just get hungry." He looked at her. "Why do you ask?" He had a feeling as to why she'd asked such a question, but he'd let her confirm it first. He shifted his wings as they moved through the grass.

Saionna listened to the way Batsu described his own plight. She looked down in confusion for a moment. "You weren't...created from Madness?" she asked finally, glancing to the red haired male beside her. He said he'd been created by hatred, and not Madness. And that he had existed before the hatred had consumed him. So...that meant that they weren't the same? That meant that...maybe Batsu's experience with Madness couldn't help her after all? Miscolored eyes blinked when Batsu said he mostly only got hungry when he repressed the urges to hurt things. Saionna frowned and looked down again when Batsu wondered why she asked. She didn't want to tell him 'no reason', because there was a reason. He probably knew that already. "Er..." She had so many words at her disposal, but suddenly she found herself unable to string a few together to explain to Batsu why she'd asked that question. She took a breath and crossed her arms around herself as she walked. "Because...it hurts me," she said finally, frowning. "Trying to ignore it hurts my head...they just keep getting louder and louder. They yell at me and give me a headache," she told him, not exactly sure if she should explain who 'they' were. Saionna's shoulders fell a bit as they walked. "I want to help you help everyone else, but...if I don't listen to them..." Her aqua and black eyes became sad. "I think maybe...I'm bad. Bad for everything around me..." Saionna stopped walking and the voices came back as whispers, encouraging her to turn and run. She looked to Batsu. "What if I can't help you?" she asked hopelessly. She kept her arms crossed around her, as if she were trying to comfort herself from the idea. She hadn't known warmth or happiness until Batsu and the others had quieted the voices inside her head. She had never known comfort, but suddenly she found herself wishing someone would help her instead of her trying to help them.

Batsu shook his head. "No." He was created because of a mistake. The Onihana had finally mastered the preservation of the souls, for Izo was very much alive the last time they'd crossed paths. Was there still that burning desire to destroy his own clan? Sometimes. Batsu didn't care to acknowledge who he was before he took over Cross's body. He was guessing her look of confusion was due to her own existence. She was born from madness, which was why they couldn't completely remove it from her. He repressed a shudder. He'd nearly died trying to save her from herself.  As Saionna struggled to find an answer, he kept walking.  He turned grey eyes towards her as she finally spoke. "I'm sorry." It was all he could say to her. Unless Silence granted a wish, there was no saving Saionna. He wondered if there would be a point where he'd have to choose between her life and the others. He hoped not. "You're not bad Saionna." He put his hands in his hoodie, feeling restless as a thought crossed his mind. He could take Saionna hunting and let her do as she pleased to tame the voices, but the others wouldn't approve. Cross sure hadn't approved of him eating souls. "You've already helped us,  Saionna. You saved my life and I'll do whatever I can to help you." Perhaps every now and again he could withdraw some madness from her to keep the voices quiet. "We'll figure it out," he promised as they came up on the house.

Saionna glanced to Batsu when he said that he was sorry. "What for..?" She didn't understand. He wasn't the one hurting her. And she knew it was bad to hurt other things, but...the voices wanted her to, and if she didn't, they hurt her instead. It was just all so confusing. When the black winged male told her that she wasn't bad, she looked down. She wanted to believe that. She frowned lightly. "I don't feel like I've helped a lot...anything I've helped with was a problem that I made," she sighed. At least, that's what it felt like. All because she couldn't keep herself from going back to the bad version of herself. And she'd only had to save Batsu's life because he'd tried to save hers. She'd been the reason he'd nearly died anyways. When he told her that they would figure it out, she smiled lightly. "Thank you..." As they started towards the house, she saw Alice sitting on the swing in the back yard and Boreas pushing the child and talking quietly with her. Saionna frowned softly. She still didn't like him. But she really didn't know why she didn't like him. She didn't understand. He seemed...okay, and no one else seemed to hate him. She shook her head. Maybe it was her instincts telling her to hate him.


"I know you were trying to help Cross and all," a push, "but that really probably wasn't the best way to go about it." Another push. "You could have...tch, I dunno," push, "helped him figure out how to fix his village or something."

Alice frowned even though Boreas was pushing her on the swing. She kicked her legs lightly, but not enough to keep her going if Boreas decided to stop pushing her. "If I helped him fix his village, he wouldn't want to be friends with me after...he'd forget all about me," Alice told him quietly.

Orange eyes blinked. "I don't think that's true. If you helped him, I think he would have remembered it forever. I mean, Cross seems like a creepy guy and all, but I'm sure he has feelings."

"Even if I'd helped him, I would have had to go back to the Unknown after. I wouldn't have ever seen him again..."

The ice chakra fell silent for a few moments. "You could have gone to visit him though, right?"

Alice shook her head. "Daddy won't let me that far away from the Unknown if no one is watching me."

Boreas frowned. "Then he could have visited you?"

"I already told you," Alice huffed, "he would have forgotten me."

"Hm...but...then...why Cross, though? There's any number of people out there that could have been your guardian, why him?"

"...I wanted him."

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted him. I wanted him to be my friend. He was so nice, and cool, and he looked like a creature from the Unknown in the outside world, but he wasn't."

Boreas held onto the swing and slowed it to a stop, looking down at the white haired girl. "So...you just wanted him to be your friend?" Alice nodded. "But...then you really are just doing what Batsu said. You didn't give Cross a choice. You just...took the memory of all his other friends away," he said with a frown. "So that you would be his only friend."

"All his other friends were dead anyways. He didn't need to be sad about them."

Boreas took a step back from Alice. Woah. This was...this was creepy. Alice clearly thought that she was in the right here, and she'd definitely thought a lot about this. She was justifying it all with her own logic without missing a beat. "But...that means he couldn't be happy about having had friends, either. You left him with...nothing," Boreas said quietly, looking at the onyx eyed girl. She didn't even turn to look at him. She just kicked her feet lightly as if she were thinking. Boreas took a breath. "Alice." She turned to look at him curiously. "That's not cool. Even I didn't do that with Jasper. You might not have turned his village to stone, but you still took everything from him. Any chances he might have had to get them back. What if it's too late now?"

Onyx eyes blinked. Why was Boreas suddenly acting mean? He was acting like Batsu now. "But it was always too late."

Batsu only shrugged. He was sorry for a lot of things. Regret was not something he wanted to become accustomed to, but he regretted taking over Cross's body and he regretted not being able to save Saionna from Madness. Not fully save her from it. The only thing he could really do to help her was to kill her. Looking at he with all that flame colored hair, the thought brought him nothing but grief. To actually act on those thoughts would bring more than grief. "That's okay. I'm fixing problems I made too," he told her somberly. He looked up when he saw Boreas and Alice. He wondered what they were talking about. He didn't care to eavesdrop. Alice was upset with him and he didn't want to argue again. He veered away from them and headed for the house. DK was walking out, rubbing his eyes as if he'd just woken up. When he spotted Saionna and Batsu he smiled at them happily before heading for Alice to see if she wanted to play. Hunter was finishing up the last of dinner, putting plates out on the table. He glanced up when Batsu walked in. "Any word from Cross," the other male asked the winged male. Batsu simply shook his head.

Boreas looked down at Alice for a few more moments. She was looking at him curiously, as if trying to guess what was on his mind. He suddenly didn't feel very safe around the white haired child anymore. Her mentality was kind of scary, and she apparently had the type of power to do whatever the hell she wanted. "I'm...gonna go inside," he said after a moment, grateful to see DK coming over. "Hey kid," he said lightly as he passed DK, then froze in place. "Uh, I-I mean, hey DK," he stuttered with a small frown. Good grief, now he was all jumpy and stuttery. He hadn't even been thinking. Calling DK 'kid' was just so natural. Besides, compared to him, DK probably was a kid. He didn't know how long the little moon creature had been alive for, but it surely wasn't as long as Jasper had been alive, right?

Saionna followed Batsu into the house, blinking when she saw Hunter placing...something...on the table. They were like flat disks. She searched her newly acquired vocabulary for something that matched the description. Plates. They were plates. Oh right, for dinner. The girl with the flame colored hair frowned lightly. This was all very new. She'd never eaten what normal people eat. What if she didn't like it? Would they be mad at her? Saionna walked over to Hunter, looking at the table. "Can...I help do something?" she asked, looking over to the human.

DK bounced along, pausing when Boreas called him a kid. He narrowed purple eyes at the chakra made into a human form. His expression softened a bit when Boreas corrected himself. He smiled lightly and shook his head. "One of these days you'll get it right. Thank for the effort though." He gave a small chuckle and looked to Alice. "What are you up to," he asked with a raised brow. "Something fun?" He looked towards the house. "Dinner is done. Hunter is setting up, so we should go eat. But first we need to find Fara. I bet she's hungry! And Batsu and Saionna and Cross and Boreas and me and you!" He gave a chuckle. "Come on."

Batsu headed for his room. This day had been long enough already, and while he was hungry, the underlying craving was right beneath the surface. He couldn't change what he was. He could ignore it though. The winged male laid on the bed and curled up, his back to the door. He'd seen Saionna going to help Hunter so he didn't need to worry about her too much. He closed his eyes and started to drift into sleep. Later he would go find Cross if he didn't return in time.

Hunter looked up a bit startled when Saionna came over asking if she could help. He nodded lightly. "Of course you can." He handed her the rest of plates. "One plate for each person," he told her. "Don't forget to count yourself." The human moved off to the side. "Then we can start putting the food on the plates and  call everyone in for dinner." He looked to the flame haired girl. "Batsu has a different appetite, so he'll get raw meat."