Home Sweet Home

Felix exited the orphanage and started for their house. He walked alongside Kymin, starring up at the stars. They were bright out and the moon was almost full. It looked like the entire village was glowing under the moonlight and it made this night pleasant. Once they were on the porch, Felix looked to Kymin with clear blue eyes. "Kymin, I want to adopt Christian," he said almost quietly. He held Kymin's gaze for a moment before he dropped it to the ground. He knew what the answer was going to be, but it was something he wanted to bring up because his brain was telling him things were going to take a real sour turn and his heart was wanting something more.

Kymin petted Vishnu lightly as they walked, the pup sleeping happily in his arms. The black haired ninja looked around the village as they walked. It really was beautiful, and he now understood why it was named after the moon. It practically glowed in the moonlight. Maybe the buildings were made of some kind of special stone. It made him wonder. His wonderings ceased, however, when they got to their house, and Felix brought up the little boy from earlier. Kymin's shoulders dropped a bit at the request, because he knew it couldn't happen. "Felix..." He was silent for a moment after the other male looked down. "I...you know we can't," he said softly. "Especially with what's been going on..." He frowned. He felt horrible that he had to be the one to say this, but they'd both been thinking the same thing about Christian. He was kind of glad to know it hadn't just been him. Moving forward a step, he gently and briefly kissed Felix. "I'm sorry love...I want to as well, but...we can't," he said quietly.

Felix had expected Kymin to say that, but that didn't mean he was about to role over and give in. When Kymin kissed him, Felix drew away from him. "But we can," Felix protested. "We can adopt him and leave. We don't have to stay here. I don't want to keep hope for a thousand lifetimes of happiness when there's no guarantee that either of us will survive," he said. "We can have that happiness now." Felix's blue eyes were dark. "I'm so sick of bleeding Kymin. I'm sick of waiting for happiness. I want more than that." Felix's voice was strained as he spoke. "We keep saying that maybe it'll be better next lifetime. Maybe next lifetime thing will be normal. What if there is no next lifetime?" Felix brought his gaze up to meet Kymin's. "What if we don't make it that far?"

Kymin blinked when Felix pulled away, frowning lightly. He gave a small sigh when the silver haired male argued for adopting Christian. He wanted to, he really did, but he was worried. Worried that Batsu was still around. "I want to be happy with you Felix, I want things to work and to be all well, but...I mean, look at what's been happening lately. Villages are being destroyed within days of each other, what happens when we're in one of them?" He tried not to tear up at the thought. "What happens when Christian's with us?" He shook his head. "I...he..." The black haired ninja fell silent and his shoulders fell along with his gaze. He knew that he was making an argument that only helped Felix's, so he was going to stop. Because, the man was right. "...alright Felix. You're right."

Felix looked at Kymin as he spoke. His blue eyes remained dark, but they narrowed as Kymin spoke. It was all the more reason for them to go ahead and do this. When Kymin concluded with telling him alright, Felix wasn't sure if that was him saying he was agreeing, or if he was telling him, 'we can't do this, alright Felix.' "Is that your way of telling me to drop the conversation?" He asked. "Because if it is I won't." Felix bowed his head. "Kymin, nothings ever going to go right," he whispered. "For all we know, this is out last shot," he said. "You're going after Batsu, no matter how much I protest. And I...I'm going to have to deal with my own problems, and I'm not sure I'm going to come back either, so I want this to end with us happy. Not in tears and sadness."

The black haired ninja only looked at Felix when the male spoke, only to find that his head was bowed. He gave a small sigh and let Felix finish talking. "No, I meant...alright, we'll adopt him," he said with a small smile. "You're right. We have too much going on to not take advantage of this window of opportunity we've been given." He then paused. Felix had said that there were things that he needed to take care of as well. That he might not come back. Kymin swallowed lightly and dropped his gaze again. The thought of existing in a world without Felix...he wasn't sure he could manage. But he still had his own duties. And he'd been given this life of freedom from the Onihana, just this life. Next life he'd be back to being a ninja, back to being a tool. Surely they could wait until then to tell him to take care of Batsu.

Felix's eyes widened when Kymin said that he was agreeing. "Y-you serious?" Felix smiled and hugged Kymin. "Thank you," Felix whispered. Felix didn't want to cry, but the tears suddenly started flowing. He felt like this would be their final lifetime together and it hurt to know that. He leaned against Kymin, crying silently. Why does it have to end like this? Why does this have to be the last time we're together. I wish we could just continue to love each other endlessly. I wish we could live in a world with no pain. Wish we could live in a world with no sadness. Wish we could could live in a world where things are better. Felix buried his face into Kymin's neck. "I don't want to say goodbye," he whispered.

Kymin's smile widened a bit when Felix asked if he was serious, giving a nod. When his lover moved to hug him, Kymin moved Vishnu so that the puppy wouldn't get squished, hugged Felix back with one arm. He didn't mind this. He'd wanted a child for the longest time, and even though it wasn't his by blood, it didn't even matter. It was better that Christian wasn't related to him by blood. He blinked when he realized that Felix was crying, and he rubbed his hand gently up and down his love's back. "We'll be okay," he said softly, his gaze lowering at what Felix said. "I don't either," he said quietly. After a moment, he slowly pulled back from the hug to look at his silver haired soulmate. "Let's go inside," he suggested softly.

Felix was trying his best not to tell Kymin that they weren't going to be okay, because nothing was ever going to be okay. Things would get good for a while and then everything would come crumbling down on them. His eyes closed at the thought and he turned and went into the house when Kymin suggested it. Not everyone gets their happy ending. Felix went straight to the couch and leaned against the side, his arm covering his face as he cried. Damn it. Knowing they were going to take Christian in should have made him happy, but it didn't. Felix just wanted peace, permanently. He knew it was impossible. This momentary break would be their last break and then everything would end. Felix shook his head.

Once they got in the house, Kymin shut the door and locked it behind them and slipped off his shoes, putting Vishnu down next to the couch, where the puppy briefly stretched before curling back up again. Taking his bag off, he put that down behind the couch before sitting next to Felix, one leg folded on the couch, while the other was hanging off the edge, frowning when he saw that his love was still crying. Taking a gentle hold of Felix's arm, Kymin pulled him over so that the silver haired male could cry right into his chest or shoulder, or however the guy wanted to position himself, before wrapping his arms around him and letting his head rest against Felix's. He once more let one of his hands rub slowly and softly up and down Felix's back without a word.

Felix didn't stop crying when Kymin sat down next to him and pulled him close. He buried his face into Kymin's chest and continued to cry silently. He wanted to take comfort in having his black haired lover holding him close, but he couldn't. Felix felt like he was once more about to lose everything. "I'm sorry," Felix whispered. "Sorry that I can't protect you from all of this. Sorry that we can't stay together forever." He closed his eyes. "I'm really sorry that I came into your life, when I know nothing can be permanent in mine."

Kymin was secretly glad that Felix didn't pull away this time, and kissed him lightly on the head, letting him cry. When the silver haired ninja finally spoke, Kymin blinked, then sighed softly. "I know angel...I know you want to protect me, because I want to protect you," he said quietly. "I won't promise you that things will be alright, because I don't think I'd be able to keep that promise...but..." he paused and lightly kissed the top of Felix's head again. "Don't be sorry that you came into my life. Don't ever be sorry about that. If we'd never met, we'd both be missing a piece of happiness. I'd rather have met you, and been happy with you for the time that we have, and miserable for the rest of my lives, than to have never met you at all and be living content and unaware," he mumbled, holding Felix a bit closer.

Felix smiled weakly as Kymin spoke. His tears came to a stop and he simply rested against the green eyed shinobi. But I am sorry. You mean the world to me and now there's not a chance in the world for us to remain together. Now I've forced you to adopt a kid with me knowing he's just a target for Kyla and Batsu. Felix shook his head. "I-I...." Felix paused. "Kymin, we do-shouldn't adopt Christian, you were right, there's too much stuff going on right now." He sighed and pulled away from the older male. "He doesn't deserve to get caught in the crossfire and neither do you." Felix stood up, his head down and his gaze averted from Kymin. "I can't protect you if I'm with you," he whispered. "And I don't want to see you hurt." He rubbed the side of his arm. "And it tears me to think about leaving, but...our paths are laid on two separate roads. We keep striving for more time, but it's limited. I don't want to keep holding on when I know eventually it'll be gone."

Kymin was glad when Felix stopped crying, rubbing the other male's back comfortingly. He paused though, and blinked, when his silver haired angel said they shouldn't adopt. His green eyes were a bit solemn when Felix pulled away after saying there was too much going on. He only nodded. He'd been trying to tell him that, but...He blinked again when Felix said he couldn't protect him if he was with him. The more Felix spoke, the lower Kymin's shoulders seemed to fall. Swallowing, the black haired male slowly pushed himself from the couch to stand in front of Felix. "Hey, look," he started softly. "I-I know we're going to have to go down our own paths eventually, but..." He paused again to keep his composure. "W-we don't have to leave each other yet," he said with a small, clearly forced smile. He was trying so hard not to tear up. "W-we have time," he insisted, his eyes pleading. Reaching down, he took Felix's hands in his own and brought them both to his own lips and held them there. "We have time..."

Felix did not want to see Kymin cry, but he knew it was going to happen. He knew he was about to tear Kymin's world apart, but there was no way to sugarcoat this. This was bound to happen eventually, so he wanted to get it over with now. When Kymin took his hand, Felix slowly pulled his hand away and wrapped Kymin in a hug. "We never had time," he whispered. Felix tightened his hug to keep Kymin from pulling away. "I'm sorry Kymin, I really am." He shook his head. "If we wait any longer then more people are going to get hurt. We have to stop stalling," he said. "You're the only one who can stop Batsu and I'm the only one who can end a lifetime of suffering for several people." This really hurt. To say goodbye like this hurt. To say goodbye at all hurt.

Kymin felt like everything around him could start crumbling at any minute, if he didn't first, that was. So when Felix wrapped him in a hug, he had to hold the guy close, for he felt like his knees had gone weak. He tried to keep the tears from coming, but he couldn't, so he quietly sobbed against Felix's shoulder. He shook his head when Felix said more people were going to get hurt. He knew that, but right now he didn't care. "P-please," he stuttered quietly. "N-not now...just, just give us a little more time, please," he sobbed, burying his head into Felix's shoulder. "I-I'm begging you, Felix, please, not now..." He couldn't help that he had no shame for things like this. Couldn't help that the tears wouldn't stop flowing. Couldn't help it...that he didn't want to leave this single glimmer of happiness he'd found.

Felix held Kymin close. He ran his hand along Kymin's back as his lover spoke. "We can't," Felix said quietly. "We can't stay together any longer. We're out of time." He kissed his green eyed lover. "Every second has been worth it, but it's time to let go." Even with that being said he didn't release Kymin. He stayed hugging him. "I really have enjoyed my time with you. You've made my entire existence worth while. For that I thank you." Felix smiled. "Please don't cry," he whispered. "I know it hurts, but it has to happen."

Kymin kept his face pressed to Felix's shoulder, giving another small sob when the other male said they couldn't. He shook his head. "W-we have time," he protested quietly. "W-we..." He didn't want to be this person. He'd never wanted to be the person that broke down when the inevitable came knocking on the door. But this felt different. They had more time, he was sure of it. His arms loosened around Felix, but didn't let go. He didn't want this. He didn't want to say goodbye. There was so much him and Felix had yet to do. Kymin would do everything in his power to make sure he came back, but...Felix said he had something of his own to do. Something he might not come back from. The black haired ninja's sobs died down, but he couldn't stop his body from shaking lightly. "I don't...want this to happen," he said quietly. They'd planned on traveling, they'd planned on raising a daughter, they could have adopted Christian. All the things they'd planned to do or could have done. They'd been going to take pictures of them together, they could've help Mori and Lain with the wedding everyone knew was going to happen. Kymin very suddenly felt weak and he pulled away from Felix to sit heavily on the couch, putting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. He couldn't take this. It was way too sudden, even if both of them knew it had to happen.

Felix shook his head as Kymin continued to insist that they had time. No, they didn't. He wanted them to, but they didn't. Felix felt horrible for doing this to Kymin. He wanted love him forever, and he would, but everything that had life would eventually have to die at one point. Immortals on the other hand faded, but Felix was sure he wasn't going to fade. He was going to cease to exist. "I don't want it to happen either," Felix mumbled. Felix's eyes darkened when Kymin pulled away from him. He slowly turned away from Kymin and headed into the bedroom. Felix pulled off his jacket and laid on the bed. Crossing his arms, he laid his head on them and starred into the darkness and across the room. "It's for the best."

Kymin just kept his head in his hands, shaking lightly as he tried to keep himself from crying. He didn't move when he heard Felix walk away. It did hurt. It hurt a lot. He didn't want it to have to be like this. Eventually, Kymin ended laying on his side on the couch, his eyes slowly closing. He wanted to leave now, get it over with, but he felt too weak to even bother moving. Who knew being heartbroken could physically hurt so much? Once his eyes drifted closed, it wasn't too long until the black haired ninja fell asleep, one arm hanging off the couch after he'd rolled onto his stomach.

Felix laid on his bed without moving. After a few hours he got up and went into the kitchen to get something to drink. He stopped when he saw Kymin sleep on the couch. Felix smiled and went back into the bathroom. He grabbed a light sheet from the bed and laid it over the sleeping male. Kissing Kymin's cheek, Felix stayed kneeling next to him for a moment. "I love you. I will always love you. I hope you know that." He ran his hand down Kymin's face then got up and went back to the kitchen to his drink. Grabbing a beer he went back to the bedroom and drank it down. Once finished he laid down and starred at the ceiling until he'd fallen asleep.

Kymin tensed lightly when Felix kissed his cheek, but it didn't last long before his breathing was back to normal and his face unusually calm in his sleep. By the time morning came, Kymin still hadn't waken up, but was instead curled up lightly with the blankets twisted around him, facing the back of the couch.

Felix woke up the next morning feeling anything but good. He took forever in the shower until the water ran cold and then he got out and dressed in long black pants and a grey shirt. He went to the kitchen and grabbed some cold water and found Kymin still sleep on the couch so he went outside and sat on the steps. He sighed and slowly sipped from his cup. He felt empty. He'd broken off his relationship with Kymin and now the guy was sleeping on his couch. It was yet another reminded that he lived a life where happiness couldn't exist. Felix pulled a kunai and began to carve into the porch. "I can't keep living like this."

Kymin shifted lightly when he heard footsteps, but didn't wake up until he heard the front door close. In his sleep clouded haze, Kymin figured Felix probably saw him on the couch and went out for a walk because he just didn't want to deal with what had happened so early in the morning. So, the black haired ninja slid off the couch and looked around the living room and bedroom and bathroom for things that were his and put them into his bag, taking out Vishnu's food bowl and placing it in the kitchen before filling it with food, and another bowl with water. Going back into the living room, he picked up the sleeping dog and sat on the couch with the puppy as it woke up, hugging it to himself until tears started flowing down his eyes uncontrollably. "I'm sorry buddy," he whispered. "It's less dangerous with daddy. I'll come back though, I-I promise," he said quietly, trying not to sob when Vishnu licked at his face. "I love you too..." After a few more minutes, Kymin put Vishnu on the couch and pulled out and on a black sleeveless hoody from him bag, leaving it unzipped. He wasn't going to bother changing right now. It would take too much time, and he didn't know when Felix was coming back. On his way out, Kymin wiped his eyes and pulled out a cigarette after slinging his bag over his shoulder. He felt like shit, and he was sure he didn't look much better. When he opened the door, he clicked his lighter once before stopping when he saw that Felix was sitting on the porch. Almost immediately his shoulder fell and he felt like bursting out into a fresh fit of tears.

Felix was randomly carving into wood until he heard the door open. His blue eyes made their way up to the face of the green eyed shinobi. Felix's head bowed when he saw Kymin packed and ready to leave. Was he even going to leave without say goodbye? Felix turned away and looked down at the wood. "I guess this is goodbye?" His heart ached something fierce and it had nothing to do with the problems he had with the cage. This was all emotional pain and it was tearing him apart. This was his fault for telling Kymin they had to separate. He brought this upon himself. Throwing the kunai down into the ground he stood up and turned to Kymin. "Good luck."