Broken Glass

Felix would have felt like a small child had he not lost consciousness. He'd tried so hard to stay awake, but after the rain, the pain, and the sudden warmth and darkness, it was hard not to lose consciousness. He of course said nothing as he was held against Kymin's chest. He was no longer fading, but he was cold and exhausted. Maybe this was all just a dream. Maybe he was still fading, but his brain had taken him to a place of pure peace, because in Kymin's arms was the last place he'd wanted to be before he'd started fading. That thought made Felix find a grip on Kymin shirt and squeeze just to make sure this was real, even in the midst of his sleep.

When Felix didn't respond, Kymin pulled his head back, trying to calm his own breaths, when he realized his lover was still breathing. He slowly moved back so that he could sit against the headboard of the bed, letting Felix rest in his lap. He grabbed a pillow, and after a moment of figuring out how to with only one hand, slipped it under Felix's head. He blinked when he felt Felix's hand grasp his shirt, the tears finally slowing down. He ran his hand lightly over Felix's sleeping face. Why? Why did things like this happen? And why was he so selfish? He could have just let Felix have his peace. But...he didn't think he'd be able to deal with losing Felix. Didn't know if he himself would have started fading. Didn't know if he would have stopped existing. Above even being blind, that was his greatest fear. He couldn't stop existing. It's why he hadn't faded yet himself. Why he hadn't done anything against the Onihana. It took a long while for Kymin to fall asleep, sitting against the backboard with Felix on his lap, and his hands resting to his sides.

Felix didn't awaken until the next morning morning. He'd seriously been worn out. When he awoke he felt groggy and unprepared to start his day. In fact, he sat up with a groan and then laid back down with another. His head was killing him and the room was swaying. Had he gotten drunk late last night? Felix took a second to think and then grimaced. Oh God, he'd almost faded yesterday and Kymin had pulled him back. Kymin! Felix sat up way to quickly for his own good. He turned on the bed and found that he'd been laying on the guy all this time. He'd wondered why the bed was so soft as he slept. Felix immediately wrapped his arms around the other male's neck. "I'm so sorry." He then pulled away when he remembered how he'd assaulted the guy. The result was unbearable to look at and he was sure it was unbearable for Kymin as well. His blue eyes saddened when he saw Kymin's arm. "Oh god, Kymin....I-I'm sorry."

Kymin stayed with Felix for a good few hours until he'd remembered he had to pick up Vishnu. But he really didn't want to leave his silver haired lover, so when he called Mori's cell, he explained that Felix's sickness was acting up again, and asked if the neko could keep Vishnu for a little while longer. He didn't want to leave the house. He also called the hotel to tell them he wasn't sure when he'd be picking up his things, and they'd been kind enough to offer someone to bring them to his house if he'd only give them their key back. The second day Felix slept, Kymin cleaned up the house as best as he could with one arm. Managed to flip the couch back over, and pick up the broken picture frames, most of which he spent a good time staring at sadly. He couldn't, however, do anything about the holes in the walls. So once he'd cleaned up all the could, he returned to Felix, only to see that his lover was still sleeping. To say he wasn't worried would be a lie. What if Felix had slipped into a coma? Instead of thinking about things like that, however, Kymin moved back onto the bed and put Felix's head back into his lap with the pillow, occasionally brushing a loose strand of hair from the guy's face. That second night Kymin didn't sleep at all, thinking that if he did, Felix might wake up and leave. The next morning, the black haired ninja blinked a couple times when Felix sat up, relief washing over him. "You're awake," he said softly in response to Felix's first apology, giving a smile. God, he was so happy Felix was awake. Words couldn't even begin to describe it. He'd tried not to flinch when Felix hugged him, because it had jostled his arm some, but to no avail. He kept the smile from before to hide the pain when Felix pulled away. His fractured arm was horribly bruised, and there were bruises on his face and other arm, but not nearly to the same extent. Despite the pain it caused him to do so, Kymin wrapped his left arm around Felix and pulled the guy into another hug. "I don't care what happened. I care that you're here," he said softly. "That's all that matters to me right now Felix..."

Felix stayed in the hug for a long moment. Kymin, this green eyed man had stayed even when Felix had tried to push him away. Maybe he was here for the long run. Felix closed his eyes and sighed, hanging on to Kymin for as long as his lover would allow. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered. Although they both knew that was a lie. Felix shook his head. "Is it broken," he asked as he glanced at the badly bruised arm. Kymin clearly hadn't been to a doctor to get it fixed and it looked painful. He felt horrible about everything that had happened. "We need to get you to a doctor."

Kymin kept his arm wrapped around Felix, smiling softly when the guy said he wasn't going anywhere. Even though it wasn't true, it was comforting to hear. He glanced to his arm when Felix asked if it was broken. "Not sure." It was a lie. He just wanted Felix to not worry so much about him. He knew it was broken, or fractured at the least. Hell, it probably broke the rest of the way when he'd carried Felix into the house. "No, it's..." Kymin trailed off before shaking his head. "Alright. I'll go see a doctor," he said simply, running his hand lightly through his lover's hair. "But I want you to come with me. Is that okay..?" he asked, tilting his head lightly. Was it okay? Just how long would it be until Kyla started hurting him again? The more he thought about it, the more he regretted not letting Felix fade in his arms. The guy had looked happy, and peaceful, and Kymin had taken that away from him. It almost brought him to tears thinking about it.

Felix was silent for a moment when Kymin said he didn't know if it was broken. Had he really been punching Kymin that hard. Felix looked off to the side ashamed of himself. His icy blue orbs grew dark when Kymin started to tell him he was fine, but he smiled when Kymin said he'd go see a doctor. Felix glanced at the green eyed shinobi when he asked if he'd go with him. "Yes." He slowly moved away from the male and got his bag off the ground, but all the clothes inside were still soaked from the rain. Felix looked to the dresser. It looked like his fiance had done some housekeeping. As Felix found something to change into his mind wandered. He was going to fade last night and it had been peaceful. It was tempting not to fall back into the gentle darkness that left him feeling at peace. Had Kymin saved him or forsaken him?

Kymin tried not to make any noises of discomfort when he moved to sit at the edge of the bed. He hadn't bothered changing from his shirt the day before, because when he'd tried, he found it far too painful to bother. It wasn't worth it just to change out of a t-shirt. He watched his lover search around for some clothes, while his mind wandered as well. Felix shouldn't have been the one apologizing. Kymin felt like breaking down. He'd kept his lover from something so good just to save himself. The green eyed man's gaze dropped with that thought. God he was a terrible person. The black haired ninja slowly pushed himself off the bed to stand up. "We have to pick up Vishnu after. I left him with Mori." A pause and Kymin gave a small smile. "I kinda told him your sickness was acting up, if he asks," he mentioned offhandedly.

Felix slipped into his new outfit in a matter of moments and found his shoes and slipped into those as well. As he was adjusting his headband, he glanced to the speaking male. "Okay," he said with a shrug. One day Kymin was going to get sick of his crap, he just knew it. Felix glanced at his jacket, but didn't bother getting it. It was probably still soaked. "You ready," he asked. He couldn't stop stealing a few looks at the bruised arm. What if he had seriously broken Kymin's arm? If this had been any other day he would have shrugged it off and said that Kymin's arm was payback for his jaw.

Kymin nodded when Felix asked if he was ready. "Good to go," he smiled. Once they were by the door, Kymin slipped his shoes on, glad he didn't need to use his hands for that. He opened the door and let Felix out first, as he usually did, closing it behind them. It was only then he realized he'd left his keys in the house. "Ah...I forgot my keys...mind lockin the door?" he asked with a slightly embarrassed grin. It was about this time he would usually be rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Oh well. Once Felix locked the door, Kymin waited for him to walk up before starting towards the hospital. "Hey Fe...you...ah, feelin okay?" he asked, looking at his silver haired love. Usually that would've been his first question, but he had just been so relieved that Felix had been awake.

Felix had started down the steps but then stopped when Kymin said he'd left his keys. Felix nodded. "Sure thing." Felix turned and went back up the stairs and locked the door. When he'd caught up with Kymin and they'd started walking he wasn't sure if he knew the answer. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a tired and dizzy," he told his green eyed lover. "No big deal." He shrugged. It really wasn't considering he was still fully functional while his fiance looked as though a train had run right over him. Felix shook his head. "Kymin...." He trailed off. "Nevermind..."

Even though the hospital wasn't so far away, Kymin still wished it was closer than it was. He gave a smile when Felix said he was okay, holding back a small sigh of relieve. "You're not gonna...topple over or anything, right?" He wanted to joke about how he probably wouldn't have been able to catch him so well, but figured now probably wasn't the best time for that. He blinked and looked to his silver haired fiance when the guy said his name, and then trailed off, saying nevermind. "Ah...what is it? Whatever it is, you can say it."

Any other day he would have shaken his head, but that was a disaster just waiting to happen. Instead he smiled. "I'll be fine." He bowed his head when Kymin told him he could speak. Felix wondered if he should lie, or tell the truth. He wanted to talk, but he didn't want to do it out here. At the hospital would have been his best bet, but they couldn't help him. "I know it's wrong of me to ask this...since I was trying so hard to push you away, but...please don't leave me." He rubbed the side of his arm. "Don't leave because you know the truth." He really did want to fade away right now. "And...I want to talk...when we get home." There was a long pause. "I think I'm ready."

The black haired male looked curiously at Felix when the guy started to say whatever it was he needed to say. After his fiance spoke though, he was silent for a long few moments. He'd been debating what he should do. He was afraid that if he stayed, Kyla would start hurting Felix, and he didn't want that. They'd been about to go their separate ways only two days before, and Kymin had been wondering if maybe that really had been for the best. But after that long pause, Kymin finally smiled. "I won't," he said softly. And then he nodded. "Alright angel." He wondered if they should hold off on picking up Vishnu just a bit longer, but the puppy was probably already missing them enough as it was. Kymin took Felix's hand as they walked, and held it to his lips for a brief moment before putting it down and just walking hand-in-hand with his lover. Once they got to the hospital, and were seen by a doctor, Kymin now wished he hadn't brought Felix along, because the doctor confirmed that one of the bones was broken. Kymin's excuse for the incident was an embarrassed grin and "Eheh...well, I, uh...fell down a flight of stairs. I was tryin ta act all tough and carry something heavy down'em myself, and ended up toppling right down. The box landed on my arm." He was sure that explained the other bruises too, and the doctor didn't seem to care to argue, so the guy just got to work on healing, saying that it'll still have a minor fracture when he finished, but I was nothing that shouldn't heal in a few days, and that he shouuldnt use him arm for about a week.

That long silence was making Felix a bit wary. What if Kymin was trying to find a way to let him down easily. It broke his heart just to think about it. He looked almost as if he was ready to break down, but his eyes went blank when Kymin smiled. The shinobi was relieved to see that smile and even more relieved when Kymin said he wouldn't be going anywhere. Felix kind of wondered why he was still clinging to the hope that this would work out when it wouldn't. Maybe he just wanted some comfort before this all ended. Why did he look back? Felix held Kymin's hand like a small child who was afraid to get separated from his mother. His blue eyes were downcast, and his mood took a nose dive when the doctor examined Kymin's arm and said it was broken. Guilty was written all over Felix's face. He kept his head bowed and his eyes covered with his silver hair as he waited for the doctor to finish healing Kymin. He wondered if he looked as bad as he felt, utterly miserable.

Kymin sat in silence as the doctor healed his arm. Glancing to Felix, he gave a frown when he saw how the other ninja was looking. Once the doctor left, offering to write up a prescription for pain pills (which Kymin accepted gratefully), Kymin went over to Felix and lifted the guy's chin to look at him. "Angel, this isn't your fault, alright? You might think it is, but it's not. I provoked you knowing you'd do something like that, and I'm sorry." He kissed Felix lightly for a few long moments, glad the doctor had left a few minutes ago. When he pulled away he gave Felix a small smile. "Please don't look so sad."

Felix looked up at Kymin, but his eyes wandered to Kymin's arm. "It is my fault," he said. "I did this to you. If I really cared, I would not have hit you to begin with." He felt like a monster. Who broke their fiance's arm!? He'd failed to remember that he'd missed Kymin's head with that kunai. And it was probably better that way considering how torn up he was about the guy's arm. Felix hardly put anything into the kiss that was given and despite Kymin's plea for him to not look so sad, he couldn't help it. He closed his eyes and sighed. Why hadn't Kymin at least fought back?

Kymin gave a light sigh. "Just think of this as payback for the time I broke your jaw, okay? That was a lot worse than this," he said with a small smile. "Now come on, let's go pick Vishnu up. I bet he misses his daddy," he said, lightly nudging Felix to get up and get a move on. He wasn't going to argue over faults here. It could easily be argued both ways, and he really didn't want to get into that time he'd nearly strangled Felix. No, well, had strangled the guy. Just not to death. Every time he thought about it he felt horrible.

Payback? They didn't get payback on each other, they were engaged! Felix held back a miserable groan and stood when Kymin nudged him. He felt dead to the world. He walked slowly, waiting for Kymin to receive his pain meds prescription before moving along towards the orphanage. He didn't want to pick up Vishnu right now, he wanted to go home and lay in his bed and sleep. He wanted to avoid any questions of what had happened and why. He just wanted a moment to gather his thoughts, and a hyperactive Vishnu wouldn't help him.

Once Kymin got his pain meds, he stuffed them in his pocket so he could instead hold Felix's hand as they walked. Once they were about halfway to the orphanage, the black haired ninja looked to his lover. "Hey, if you want, I'll run in and pick him up," he offered, giving Felix a light kiss on the cheek. Honestly, Felix still looked tired as hell. He wondered if it would've been better to let Felix stay and rest at home.

Was Kymin trying to be optimistic about this? Felix couldn't quit tell. He just knew that having Kymin around was tiresome. It was like balancing the world. One wrong move and he could break the guy without meaning to. He shook his head. He shouldn't have to be this careful and neither should Kymin. He wondered if Kymin counted the days until Felix just completely blew up for no apparent reason. If anyone had been tolerating anything, it was probably Kymin tolerating his ridiculous mood swings. When his lover suddenly stopped and told him he'd run in and get Vishnu, Felix shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

Kymin tilted his head. "You sure? You look really tired," he pointed out. He couldn't help but wonder...would Felix ask why Kymin had been trying to provoke him to begin with? The black haired ninja wasn't sure if he wanted Felix to ask or not. He kept a hold of his lover's hand as they walked however, glancing in the direction of their house once. They'd have to get someone to fix all those holes in the walls. Not today though. Another time. And they had to get that mattress and couch delivered. Yeah, maybe later Kymin would go out and get that done.

Felix was tired, but right now he needed Kymin. "If I go home without you, I don't think I'd wake up, and I don't want that on your conscious." Clearing his head would mean thinking about everything and then he'd go into a depression and wish himself away, which now that he knew was surprisingly easy, he was desperate to do just that. As they walked Felix looked straight ahead. "Who drags a twelve year old into a love affair," he asked. "What corrupt being would rip apart another's life to seek revenge on someone that is as ignorant to the truth as the one forced to do the other's bidding?"

Kymin frowned lightly when Felix said that if he went home, he'd probably not wake up. For a second he was tempted to tell Felix to go home, and lay down, but...his eyes watered a bit with the thought of losing Felix, and he quickly looked away to prevent Felix from seeing it. "Alright," he said, smiling after a moment. "Seems like we're both going to get Vishnu." He swallowed lightly and tried not to look so distressed. Conflict, conflict, and more conflict, that's all it was lately. After Felix started talking again, Kymin took his hand from Felix's and instead wrapped it around his lover's shoulders, holding him closer. "I'm sorry that happened to you angel, I really am..." Instead of looking ahead while he walked, Kymin lightly leaned his forehead against the side of Felix's head.

Felix closed his eyes when Kymin pulled him closer. He gave a weak smile. "I suppose we are," he said with a shrug. The smile faded though. "There's no point in being sorry, you can't change the past." He moved his arm so that it was around Kymin since they were no longer holding hands. "Love makes us do crazy things," he said with a shake of his head. "Me and Serenity got caught in the middle of it, but Serenity doesn't know." He was silent for a long time. "She doesn't know." He stopped walking for just a moment. "I just want help her Ky. I just want us to both be free from Kyla." He shook his head. "But how do you kill a 10,000 year old immortal who's capable of using some really powerful witchcraft?" He started walking again. He felt at a loss. He wasn't asking Kymin for help, he was just letting the guy know that he couldn't be helped.