Broken Glass

Would it be wrong to say that the silver haired man honestly had no clue what Kymin was talking about? Because he really didn't. "I have a mission," he asked with a raised brow. "I shouldn't, I'm retired, remember....we both are." Kymin must be messing with him or something. Felix looked down at Kymin's hands then to his face, staring into those green eyes for a long moment. "Who told you I had a mission," he asked. "Was it Mikey or Takuya? You know not to trust them. They're just messing with you, I don't have any missions," he assured his black haired lover.

Kymin looked to Felix when the guy asked if he did have a mission. Now he was a bit confused. Was Midori pulling his leg? Cuz if she was, it wasn't funny. "That's what I said too, when I found out, but...they said you've been on the list for six months, and that you'd be leaving in two or less," he said slowly. He was really confused. "No...no, it wasn't either of them," he said. He seemed honestly relieved when Felix said that he didn't have any missions. Then why the hell had Midori went and told him something like that? What was the point in it?

It all came rushing back when Kymin said six months. "Oh god," he groaned. He suddenly wished he'd come back home too wasted to talk to his fiance. "That village," he said. "Oh fuck." Felix stood up. "Kymin, I need go, now. I have to go get that changed." How had he forgo-then again who the hell wouldn't forget that? It was six months ago and they hadn't been updated in forever. Felix shook his head. "Kymin, who told you that I had a mission," he asked. He swore to God that if this was someone's way of hinting to Kymin that he was leaving, he would fucking strangle them.

Kymin blinked and looked at Felix when he groaned, seeming to realize just what the black haired male was talking about. He suddenly felt bad for bringing this up. Here Felix had been in such peace, watching the sunset with him, and Kymin had just ruined it. He looked at his silver haired lover when the guy stood up, and followed suit. "Hey, it's late, you can get it changed tomorrow. Besides, you're drunk man, it would be better if we just went home now, okay?" Yeah, he was going to completely bypass that question of who told him. He didn't want to rat Midori out, but...wait, why did it really matter who told him? Was it supposed to be a secret or something? No...no, maybe he was just overthinking it.

Felix turned on Kymin far quicker than he had intended. The world did a three sixty and he had to take a step back. "I'm drunk, but I'm not drunk enough that I can't find my way to the tower." He shook his head. "If I'm supposed to be leaving in a month or two then I need to get my name off that list tonight." He'd already started for the stairs. He was going to break someone's neck. he village mission had long since been forgotten, but it was obvious someone was trying to warn Kymin. If it was really serious and they'd really needed him for that mission right away they would have told Felix, not his unknowing fiance. He had no intentions of stopping until he'd scratched his name off that sheet.

Kymin blinked when Felix turned on him, a bit surprised at the sudden movement. "That's not what I meant, I mean, seriously, how's it gonna look when you just go stumbling into the tower wreaking of alcohol?" he asked. He didn't want to sound overly concerned about this, but he'd really rather not have had Felix going to the tower tonight. Kymin called Vishnu before starting down the steps after his silver haired lover. "I-it's really not that big a deal Fe," he called.

Felix paused at the bottom of the stairs. "It's not that big of a deal? I don't know if you've noticed or not but we're getting married sooner or later. This mission is going to take up a lot of that time. What exactly are you going to do while I'm away? We're supposed to be traveling, enjoying life, not worried about all the shitty problems that have been plaguing our lives. For just a few seconds I would rather not have to worry about being separated from you despite the world's need to do just that. Between Batsu, Kyla, Kana, this mission, everything is just really starting to weigh down on me. So excuse me if I find this to be a big deal. I apologize if I just want one less problem to worry about so I can focus just a little bit more on you." Felix had not risen his voice and he did not sound too mad, but he did sound tired, because he really was. He'd left the house to get rid of his problems, not come back to have Kymin drag him away to this roof of misery.

Kymin paused when Felix stopped at the bottom of the stairs, blinking at how the guy was talking. Wait...what did Kyla have to do with this? Sure, she'd had words with the black haired ninja a while back, but...was there more to it than that? "I didn't...mean it like that, I mean, of course I want your name off the list, but it..." He paused for a moment before he finally nodded. "Alright. Okay angel. Do you want me to come to the tower with you, or should I take Vishnu back home?" he asked, tilting his head lightly as he looked at his lover.

"Just go home," Felix said as he turned away and started towards the tower. Right now he just needed some more air. Some time to clear his head of all this madness. He couldn't keep doing this with Kymin or anyone else for that matter. He really should have just saved himself the trouble. Felix sighed heavily and placed his hands in his pockets, head bowed and silver hair covering his blue eyes. "I just want a single day, just one freaking day."

Kymin blinked when Felix told him to just go home, but then gave a small nod. "Sure love. I'll see you in a bit," he said, holding back a sigh. Waving Vishnu forward, the black haired ninja started towards the house. He was gonna take a shower, since he hadn't been able to wash up earlier. After he washed up, and checked Vishnu's food and water, Kymin slipped out of his t-shirt and laid on the bed, turning the TV on. He was tempted to go take a shot or two of that vodka Felix had in the cupboard. But then again, they didn't need both of them being drunk messes.

Had he been armed Felix would have been in jail tonight. If he'd had a less tolerant Captain, he'd really be in jail. Alcohol had nothing to do with how Felix had reacted when Midori had told him that Kymin had had the right to know he was leaving. Just who the hell did she think she was! Felix almost punched the guards who'd taken him half way to his house before the guy finally gave up after the death glare Felix was giving him. When he opened the door he looked even more pissed than when he left Kymin. He went straight into the bathroom and shut the door after locking it. Sliding to the floor he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He smoked without care that he was inside of the house. Didn't care if Kymin got worried. Didn't care if he was acting an ass. "Caring is overrated."

Kymin blinked and looked towards the living room when he heard the front door open. When Felix came storming past was the point that the black haired male started getting worried. Getting up off the bed, he slowly made his way to the door, giving a couple knocks. "Hey...Felix, you okay? What happened?" Okay, maybe he should have gone to the tower with the guy. Yeah, letting him go drunk and alone had been a bad idea.

Felix took a long drag of the cigarette, letting out the smoke after a few moments and then frowning when Kymin knocked on his door. Felix snapped. "What the hell do you want," he asked. "Can't you see that I need some space, would you just stop worrying about me and mind your own damn business," he asked. That wasn't really a question, more like a command. "You know what, just get out! Just get out and leave me the hell alone and take that damn mutt with you." Felix hit the door and then went back to smoking his cigarette. He was tired of trying. He just wanted to be left alone for the rest of eternity. He didn't want to be Kymin's soul mate, didn't want to hurt the way he did when he thought of the guy going after Batsu, didn't want to imagine what he'd face when he met Serenity if he ever found her. The hell with it all. He wanted Kymin out. He wanted Kyla to find someone else to do her dirty work. He wanted his old life back where he didn't give a rat's ass about anyone or anything.

Green eyes widened when Felix suddenly snapped. What had happened? "I..." Kymin trailed off. He was shocked and confused at this, at the suddenness of this all. Why was it that everytime things seemed to be going well, they just turned around like this? The black haired ninja let out a low sigh, but didn't say anything more. Going over to his bag, he packed some clothes that would last him a few days. He never really had gotten around to getting more clothes, so those few things were practically all he had in Felix's house. He slung the bag over his shoulder and then went on to pack Vishnu's things. As he did, he couldn't help but think. Think of how much of an idiot he was. Felix had asked for space and he'd only given him a couple hours. He was positive the guy had needed more than a couple hours, and here he was, practically smothering the guy. Kymin gave a half-hearted smile and shook his head. That's why this was happening, he was sure of it. The black haired ninja wrote up a little note for Felix and hung it on the front door before softly calling for Vishnu. He'd leave the guy to his thoughts, and hopefully in a couple days time he'd be feeliing better. Kymin started towards the hotel he'd stayed in when he'd first came to the Crested. He'd stay there a couple days. The last line on the note he'd left his lover served more than one purpose. If Felix wanted to meet with him, he could do so there. If not, then he knew which place to avoid.

'Call me if you want to talk. I'll be in the park most of the day tomorrow with Vishnu.'

Felix didn't say anything more. He didn't care that it was oddly quiet. Didn't care if Kymin left. His eyes closed and he continued to smoke until his hearts' content. He said nothing when he heard the door close. Instead he continued to sit there feeling miserable. When he finished his cigarette he went into the bedroom and began to completely destroy his home in a blind rage. He was so pissed off. So ridiculously angry that it hurt both physically and mentally and emotionally. When he was done the entire house was a mess. Furniture was overturned, the picture frames were broken, and the walls had several homes in them. Felix shook his head. He was so miserable. He gave a soft sob and buried his face in his hands.

Two days passed and still Kymin had gotten no word from Felix. The first night the black haired ninja had gotten very little sleep, hoping that maybe Felix would call him and want to talk. He really hoped that hadn't been Felix's way of saying they were over. Maybe he was in denial, but he didn't want that. They were good for each other, despite all the shit going on around them. Hell, he was sure it was because of all the shit going on around them that this was happening. The second night Kymin was in the hotel was better. He got a bit more sleep, but he was still extremely tired. And a bit worried. He hadn't panicked because he wasn't sure what Felix had meant by telling him to get out. The afternoon of the second day, the green eyed male was pacing the hotel room, glancing to Vishnu every now and then. He wanted to go talk to Felix, but he didn't want to leave the puppy in the hotel room alone. And to leave him with Mori and Lain would mean explaining, and he really had no clue what was going on himself. It was times like this that he stated missing Kinana. He was sure he could've gotten away with leaving Vishnu with her for a bit without too much of an explanation. In the end, he just went to the orphanage and asked Mori if he could watch Vishnu for a little bit, and told the neko that he'd answer questions later. He was trying not to seem so solemn about this whole mess, he really was.

Taking a breath, Kymin unlocked the front door and walked in, closing the door quietly behind him. When he turned to walk towards the bedroom, he froze in place at the scene he saw before him. Broken picture frames, overturned furniture, holes in the walls. The place looked like a tornado had it it. Swallowing, Kymin started further into the house. "...Felix..?"

Felix didn't look to great. He'd done nothing but drink, smoke, and have sex with anything that moved. The shinobi was broken. His will shattered and he didn't know why. He just knew that he was hurting. When Kymin came into the house he didn't hear it. His blue eyes were closed, but he wasn't sleep, just sort of there. He was sitting on the other side of the bed with a cigarrette in his mouth and a beer in his hand. He'd just kicked out two girls a few hours ago and hadn't moved from that spot since. It took him a second to realize Kymin had spoken. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk to him at this particular moment so he took another swig of his beer and went back to smoking.

When Kymin got to the doorway of the bedroom, he suddenly found himself very glad he didn't bring Vishnu. Because, the way Felix was looking, Kymin wasn't sure that a fight wouldn't break out between them. Granted, he was going to do everything in his power to prevent that, but really, the whole room smelled of a mixture of sex, cigarette smoke, and booze. He couldn't help but wonder if Felix was drunk again, but he had to assume so, considering the guy had a beer in his hand. Kymin honestly didn't know what to think of this. Had it been something that had happened at the tower, or was it his own fault? Had he been the one that had done something wrong here? Or was it just something up with Felix? Swallowing lightly, Kymin slowly approached the silver haired male. "Felix...hey, what happened?" Yeah, he was being cautious here. He didn't want a fight to break out between the two of them, he really didn't. The thought terrified him, because he didn't want to hurt Felix.

Felix blinked when Kymin came in. His head slowly turn his head so he could look at the guy. What happened? Felix looked around, he wasn't quite sure himself. "I had a party to celebrate my misery. Then I got drunk and had a lot of sex. Some left happy, some got pissed, and then I decided to take a break and smoke a cigarrette." He shrugged. "I was also going to go tell Kyla to go fuck herself, tell her I wasn't her pet anymore. Tell her I was done doing her dirty work, but then I figured what does it matter, I'm being dragged away on mission and my fiance is going to fight the God of Chaos. Figured I might as well stick around for a bit more suffering before I commit suicide."

Man, Kymin was sure as hell glad he hadn't asked if Felix was okay. Of course, it was obvious at a glance he wasn't, but even so. The black haired male, at first, didn't go any close to Felix than at the foot of the bed. Since the blue eyed ninja didn't snap at him, he found it safe to go closer, but...for a few moments he didn't. For a few moments, he just stood there and looked at Felix, trying to piece together all that his fiance had said. "Jesus Christ Fe..." Kymin went over to Felix and carefully took the bottle from the guy's hand, placing it on the nightstand before he knelt on the ground in front of his lover and looked up at him, taking Felix's free hand in his own. "Hey, look at me," he said softly. God, if he hadn't been worried before. He wondered if that sickness of Felix's linked in with some kind of depression. "I'll admit, everything around us is pretty shitty right now, and things haven't been going as we've planned. But I told you, I'm not going to fight Batsu. I'll survive, because I want to live for you and you alone." He remembered his promise to Felix. That he'd be his light in the dark. He didn't care how long it took for Felix to see the light, so long as in the end he knows it's there. He wondered at what Felix said. Hadn't they taken his name off the list? "If they can't take you off that mission, I'll just have to go to the village with you, and we could just postpone the wedding is all." A pause. Kyla. What was going on with Kyla? He wasn't sure how to bring that bit up, which was why he'd left it for last. Every solution was simple for him to come up with, except this one. "Now...tell me what's going on with Kyla, Felix, please," he requested, keeping his gaze up on his blue eyed love in the hopes that the guy wouldn't snap at him.

Felix didn't look all too thrilled to have his beer taken away from him, but it was probably for the best since he would have hit Kymin with it. On the other hand he had his smokes, so he was content enough. As Kymin spoke, Felix grinned. "You're not the brightest crayon in the box are you? You think things weren't shitty before you showed, please Kymin, my life is a roller coaster to hell." He shook his head. "You should have left when you had the chance. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into." Felix was silent for a long time. When he spoke it was nothing short of blunt. "You're too gullible to get it. Too happy go lucky. You thought you could just walk into my life and change, and I was dumb enough to buy into it, but life doesn't work like that." He pulled his hand away from the black haired male. "The world is going to burn Kymin. If Batsu doesn't finish the job then I will. This place needs a new start anyway." He turned his gaze to the wall. "We're not getting married. Sometimes we fool ourselves into believing we stand a chance, but it's just bunch of lies. Everything is just lies." He glanced at Kymin. "Surprisingly enough, I'm okay with that."

Kymin didn't move his gaze away from the silver haired ninja as he spoke. Yeah, he was sure that Felix was depressed. Depressed people did stupid shit. Said stupid shit. "I'll figure it out as I go along," he smiled lightly, when Felix said he didn't know what he was getting himself into. He tilted his head lightly when Felix said he was too gullible, too naive. A small smile crossed over his face and he had to hold himself back from chuckling. That was rich. That small smile faded lightly when Felix pulled his hand away, though. "The world is already burning, Felix," he said calmly. "Humans are doing it to themselves. Madness is spreading like wildfire and it has nothing to do with me or you or Batsu. But you know, if the world does go down in flames, I'd still rather be with you when it does," he said, tilting his head lightly again. His face momentarily went blank when Felix said they weren't getting married. Maybe he should have let Felix keep the beer bottle, because having that glass smashed over his head might've been a bit less painful than having heard that. The black haired ninja held back a sigh and sat on the bed next to Felix, though kept a bit of room between them. "Yeah, maybe. Maybe. But sometimes I'd rather hear a bunch of lies than accept the painful truth. I don't know about you, but I like taking breaks from the pain sometimes." He glanced at his silver haired lover. "Spot me a cig?"

Felix shook his head when Kymin said he'd figure it out. "Damn it Kymin, this isn't a game!" Felix wished the guy would grow up for at least a heartbeat. "You think this has nothing to do with me. This madness that's spreading throughout the world. It is my fault," he said. "I released Madness into the world." Why had he helped Serenity into the Pass, why had he saved Mekko. The shinobi felt like breaking down all over again. He'd been doing that a lot these past two days. "I don't feel pain....I don't feel anything. No love, no anger, no remorse, no sadness. Emotions are for the weak. And whether you want to hear the truth or not, we're out of time." He completely ignored Kymin's request for a cigarette. "Then again, the time was never ours to began with." His week was up. He'd meant to spend it with Kymin, but he'd gotten mad and those final few days had been lost. Felix slowly got up, almost a bit unsteady as he walked over to his closest and pulled out a bag. "Everyone wants to know how to help," he said as he made his way over to the dresser. "Everyone wants to help save me....but I'm already too far gone." He placed clothes into the bag. "Too far gone to be saved." A pause. "Unless you can end this life of misery, and set this caged bird free."

Kymin looked to the silver haired man. "No one said it was a game, Fe." The black haired ninja was silent for a long moment after Felix said he'd set Madness into the world. He couldn't tell the guy that it didn't make it his responsibility, because that would be hypocritical. "And you think destroying the world is gonna do anything? Madness will still be around so long as there's a single human on this planet. What happens when you can't take your own life and you're all alone? Are you really okay with something like that? Once it's all said and done, and you've done what you have to...you're really okay with having no one there with you?" The green eyed ninja closed his eyes, very aware that Felix had ignored his request for a cigarette. And he'd forgotten his at the hotel too. Go figure. "No one's too far gone to be saved. No one." If he didn't believe that with all his heart, there would be no way he'd be going after Batsu. So much for not being a hero. When did he start breaking so many promises? He didn't say anything to Felix's claims of not feeling emotions. He didn't believe that either. Maybe sometimes it happened where the guy felt nothing, but it hadn't been over the last two weeks, that was for sure. Kymin ran a hand through his messy hair. "I'm not going to kill you." His eyes opened, and he looked over at his silver haired fiance, who was in the process of packing a bag of clothes. That lack of sleep over the past couple days was really starting to catch up with him. "I know...we're out of time. We each have our own things to do. But...could you grant me one last night with you?"

Felix paused and looked at Kymin, his blue eyes hidden behind his silver hair. "I would rather spend an eternity alone, rather than watch the people I care for suffer. I would give anything to go back and never have strayed into the Pass. I would rather be the sole vessel of Madness, rather than watch it tear apart others that I care for." That was the God honest truth. He turned away when Kymin said no one was too far gone to be saved. "I wish that were true." He'd finished with packing his clothes so he was moving towards the bathroom to pack the little things in there. He then moved back to the bedroom and placed the bag on the floor. "If you can't end my immortality, then you can't save me. If you can't put an end to this nightmare then you can't be my light." A weak smile formed across his lips. "I wanted you to end this, if not anyone else." His gaze dropped once more and he moved over to put on his jacket. "I can't give you another night. It would be meaningless and make this all the more harder than it has to be. Just let it go Kymin."