Broken Glass

Kymin kept his gaze down as Felix moved about the room, trying to keep his cool. He honestly was. He didn't want to get mad, and he didn't want to snap. But with Felix acting the way he was, so damn sure that everything would go to hell, so damn sure that nothing they did would change anything...it was really, really hard not to get angry. The black haired ninja closed his eyes and kept them closed up until the point where Felix said if Kymin couldn't end his life, he couldn't save him. That he couldn't be his light. That he'd wanted Kymin to end it for him. The black haired male put his head in one of his hands, shaking his head lightly. "You're ridiculous." It was a moment before Kymin actually stood up after running a hand through his hair. His eyes, if nothing else, betrayed the annoyance he felt at having been pushed this far. "What about those people around you that don't want to see you suffer? You don't think seeing you hurting wouldn't tear them apart just as much?" The effort it took to keep his voice calm was immense, which resorted to it coming out blunt and cold. If this had been any other person, Kymin would've just beat the shit out of them. But he was slowly closing in on that point. "And I'm the stupid one of the two of us," he shook his head. "There's no such thing as fate, Felix, nothing is predetermined. There's no gods up there saying that this is the way it has to be, saying that you have to suffer for the world." Okay, maybe that last bit had been more mocking than he'd wanted it to sound. It didn't really seem like he was in control of what his vocal cords were doing anymore. "You don't have to die to be happy, to be shot of this misery and pain you've been spewing the fuck on about. You just have to stop being a prideful asshole and admit that there's people out there who aren't going to let you go this alone. You know, maybe accept their help once in a while?" The whole time Kymin spoke, his voice didn't rise any louder than it needed to be to be heard in the room. There was so many more things running through his mind that he could've said, but if he had, he truly would've snapped. As it was, he was only moments away from breaking the silver haired male's jaw for a second time. Wouldn't matter much, since everything else in this house was a mess anyways.

"Why does it matter if they suffer for a little while," he asked. "They eventually die." He shrugged. "And those after them won't even remember my name." He didn't care if Kymin was angry with him. "In the end, you're all just human." He picked up his bag after he had his jacket on. "And I know there's no God, because if there was, I wouldn't be in this situation." He smiled. "But I am, aren't I. I'm here, living and breathing until Kyla decides she doesn't need me anymore. Pride has nothing to do with this, because there's just no way for you to help me." He looked at Kymin. "If I thought you could help me, I would have asked you a long time ago, because I trusted you. But you can't save me from this ancient evil." He started for the door. "I really wish you could have though. We can't always win."

Kymin scoffed lightly. "And me? I die, but I come back, don't I?" This was becoming more than he could handle calmly. "Immortal or not, you're still human. I've met humans far worse than you are, whether you'd like to think so or not." The black haired ninja stopped to inhale deeply. He didn't like the scent of this room. Normally it wouldn't have bothered him so much, but now it was just fueling his agitation. When Kymin exhaled, there was a frown on his face, and he'd tilted his head when he next looked back to Felix. "I wonder if this is the same reason that healer girl left the village. Serenity. You tell her the same thing? That she's useless because she can't save you? Were you really so surprised that she left without telling you Felix? I heard around, you guys stopped talking a long while back. With the way you're acting now..." He gave a small, half chuckle, though it wasn't...all there. There was a slight coldness to it that didn't usually come from the black haired male. "I'm not surprised she left."

"What the hell does it matter Kymin! You die! You'll always die, you get a a chance to start over with a clean slate!" Felix shook his head. "Forget it, I'm wasting my time trying to explain to you." Felix stopped at the door way when Kymin brought up Serenity. Felix dropped his bags and pulled off his jacket. Those icy blue eyes were nothing short of pissed as he looked at Kymin. "You don't know shit about Serenity!" He'd started towards Kymin. "She was my friend! You think I wanted to intentionally hurt her." It took all he had to not draw a kunai on Kymin like he was a real enemy. Instead he tackled Kymin to the ground and started with a round of punches. "All those years that she suffered because of me and I had no idea why I was so fucking angry with her and it was because of that witch! You think you know everything Kymin, you know nothing!" Mad didn't explain it. "And the one time I understood and I wanted to apologize I couldn't because of this damn cage! I couldn't because of the pain. It wouldn't fucking stop so to protect us both I told her she meant nothing and it stills hurts! So don't you tell me why she left," he yelled as he continued throwing blind punches.

When Felix slipped off his bag and jacket, Kymin instinctively took a step back, but considering Felix was faster than him, he couldn't do anything more than make sure his head didn't hit anything as he was tackled to the ground. Well, at least he'd gotten the guy to show some emotion towards him, even if it was anger. He was sick of Felix going into this 'emotionless' mode and brushing him off like he didn't mean anything. On the other bright side, he was finally getting some information. He'd had to do things like this before, as a last resort, and this time was no different. It had been a last resort. As much as he didn't like the fact that Felix was hitting him, he wasn't about to flip this around pin the guy down and accidentally break something. However, when Kymin went to block one of the punches with his forearm, a gasp escaped him, for he was sure that one of those blind punches had just caused a fracture of some kind. And the worst part was, it had been his dominant arm. He refused to scream though, no matter how much it hurt. Instead he provoked the silver haired ninja a bit more. "Yeah right, protect her from what, from you?" He tried not to flinch too much as Felix's punches hit. "Cuz you couldn't bear to what? Make her suffer anymore?" He was just taking shots in the dark now, but it usually worked. "What happened to Mr. I don't feel anything? Or did Kyla pick you because that's what you're good at?" He was trying to sound angry enough to get Felix more riled up, while holding back from revealing the pain in his arm. Actually, forget fractured, he was starting to think it was actually broken through.

Behind the anger, Felix was questioning why Kymin was saying these things. They were supposed to have meant something to one another, so why was Kymin saying these things? Felix was still too angry to ask the question himself and he was too angry to notice that he may have just hurt Kymin. "Fuck you," Felix spat. "You don't know anything about me!" Felix pulled a kunai from his pouch and drove the kunai into the ground right next to Kymin. His breathing was coming in quick gasps as he spoke. "I was twelve," he breathed. "I was just twelve." He bowed his head. Why had she chosen him of all people. Felix shook his head and glared at Kymin. "You're not even worth it." He moved away from the other shinobi, shaking with anger and the small fear that he could have killed Kymin just then.

Kymin's eyes widened when Felix pulled a kunai, and unlike last time, he actually flinched when the silver haired man brought it down. He swallowed when he realized that the kunai hadn't hit him, but the floor next to him. At least now he knew a bit more. Like the fact that all of these horrible things started happening to Felix when he was just twelve years old. When Felix moved away from him, Kymin slowly pushed himself up with his left arm, but was left frozen in place with his head bowed in pain when his right arm shifted. He gritted his teeth before he spoke, leaning on his right elbow with his left palm crossed over his right arm on the ground to keep himself steady. "I'm...sorry," he panted. He couldn't look at Felix, and not because he was angry at him, but because he was afraid to move.

"You're not sorry," Felix hissed. He slowly made his way back to his bag and jacket. He picked them both up and kept moving. "If you were sorry you would never have said that." Felix stopped in the living room for a moment to make sure he'd not forgotten anything before he opened the front door. He blinked when he saw it was raining. His eyes darkened and he slowly made his way onto the porch and then out into the rain. He suddenly felt drained. He wasn't sure he'd be able to leave the village today. He stopped a few feet from the porch and looked up at the sky. He felt betrayed.

Once Felix started walking away, Kymin pushed himself up with effort that he really wished he didn't have to exert. He let his arm hang by his side. He felt exhausted and sore, mostly because of the beating he'd just received. Only when he heard the front door open did he finally move, trying to keep his arm still as he did. He tried to get to the front door quickly, in case Felix decided to try running again. He opened the door with his left hand and when he looked up, blinked to see that Felix was just standing there, looking up at the sky. "Fe-Felix wait," he called, his voice slightly hoarse. He started down the steps, but didn't go farther than that. "I am sorry...I'm sorry I said those things, and I didn't mean any of them, but...you only...you would've only told me the things you did when you weren't thinking right. I'm sorry I tricked you like that. I don't want things to end like this," he called, his breaths coming in heavy as he spoke. God he was glad for the rain.

"You had no right," Felix said. He wasn't speaking too loud, in fact it was probably hard to hear him over the rain, for he was sort of out of it by this point. "Why couldn't you just mind your own damn business? Why couldn't you just leave it alone?" He turned his gaze from the sky so that he could look at Kymin. "Can't you see that you're hurting me?" He was hoping that little bit would be enough to make Kymin back off. He knew how bent out of shape Kymin got when he thought he was hurting his fiance. To use that against the green eyed male, but to be honest Kymin really was kind of hurting in him in an indirect way. Felix sighed and turned away. "I think I'm going to run, because it's the one thing I am good at."

"I-I know," Kymin swallowed quietly. He really hadn't any right to do that, but...but why wouldn't Felix let him help? Clearly no one else was trying! Kymin's green eyes widened lightly when Felix said he was hurting him. "I...some...something's, always hurting you Felix. But I've never seen anyone try to help relieve that pain," he said, walking a bit closer to his fiance. He wanted to pull Felix close, to keep him there, to keep him from leaving. But with one arm, it would be hard to do so. "N-no, don't run. Please don't run," he asked, shaking his head lightly.

Felix didn't move when Kymin came closer, but he was very aware of how close the guy was to him. If the green eyed male was trying to get close enough to immobilize him then Felix would be ready. Blue eyes were unblinking as Kymin spoke. Why hadn't Kymin broke down and started asking how and why? Why didn't he back off like the silver haired male had expected? Felix didn't understand. Any other time to plan would be foolproof and yet it was backfiring. "No one helps, because I don't want them to. Everyone that tries to help gets hurt, so the pain doesn't really matter when I know everyone else is fine." He took a step back. "So will you please just leave alone before you get hurt."

Kymin had stopped moving closer to Felix, because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep his arm completely still when he walked, and the pain just got worse every time. Kymin shook his head lightly, but unlike most times, his hair didn't sway because of the rain matting it down. "I...I can't accept the fact that you're going this alone. And I've been hurt plenty worse than I've been or will be being with you, so I don't quite care how much pain I go through if that means I can alleviate some of yours," he said, swallowing lightly.

He was trying so hard to make him go away, but he just couldn't get the guy to leave him alone. This was supposed to be his last day in the village. The longer he stayed the antsier Kyla would get and finally she would just take it out on him and Felix didn't want that. He didn't want to feel that pain. That tearing feeling against his heart. "Please Kymin, I'm begging you," Felix began almost desperately. "It's better for the both of us if you just drop it." He looked around for emphasis as he spoke. "Being around you is what's making me sick and it's only going to get worse if I don't leave. I have things I need to take care of, things that I have no say in, so please, just forget about me." Of course Kyla was nowhere to be found, but Kymin had seen how that old hag worked. How she bore into one's conscious, making them question everything and nothing. Surely if he put two and two together he could see why Felix was so keen on getting rid of him. It aggravated Felix that Kymin was so freakin smart, yet he couldn't put two and two together, or at least he refused to do just that.

Kymin looked at Felix for a few moments after the guy started begging. It was...being around him that was making the guy sick? 'Do you know that your very presence is killing him?' Kymin blinked. Hold on. Wait. Kyla had told him that. And Felix had said... 'I was also going to go tell Kyla to go fuck herself, tell her I wasn't her pet anymore...' The black haired ninja took a step back. "W-wait..." he mumbled. Things were starting to come together. Piece by piece, and Kymin was starting to realize he should have seen this a long time ago. There was a look on Kymin's face, mixed with confusion and a bit of shock. 'I couldn't because of the pain. It wouldn't fucking stop...' The black haired male blinked and shook his head lightly, as if that would clear up all the confusion. "I...you mean..." God, he felt like an idiot! Kyla had been trying to drive him away from Felix, because she was using him for something, and if he didn't leave, she'd...she'd hurt Felix instead. "I...I-I'm sorry Felix...t-this whole time..." Kymin nearly tripped backwards up the steps when the realization hit him. This whole time Felix had been with him, the guy had been putting up with whatever pain Kyla was inflicting on him. Instead of going up the steps, Kymin went towards Felix and wrapped his good arm around him for a few moments, burying his head into the silver haired man's shoulder, leaving the other arm to hang by his side. "I'm so sorry, I didn't...I-I..." When the black haired male realized that he'd come closer to Felix, he pulled away almost as quick as he'd walked up. There was still confusion in those green eyes of his, but there was also regret. Regret for having not figured it out sooner than he had. He didn't know what to say to Felix. To say he was an idiot was the obvious choice, but he was sure Felix didn't want to hear it.

Oh, there it was. Felix watched Kymin piece it all together. His blue eyes still unblinking. This rain was kind of cold. When Kymin came over and wrapped an arm around him Felix closed his eyes. "You didn't know," he said quietly. "And it doesn't matter. I can't feel it anymore." Should he have told Kymin it was a temporary fix? His question was answered when Kymin pulled away from him before he could fully embrace that brief moment of comfort his fiance had bestowed upon him. Felix his silver hair slid into his eyes, although they were completely covered because most of his hair was matted. "I'm going to go now," he said quietly. He didn't want to, but if he stayed any longer he'd go insane. "Goodbye...."

Kymin cast his eyes downwards, even though Felix said he couldn't feel it anymore. The old hag hadn't been lying in what she'd told him, but what she'd failed to reveal was the fact that she was the one putting Felix through the pain because he was there with the silver haired ninja. How he wanted to kill her. Oh god how he wanted to. For putting Felix through all that. That witch really did deserve to burn in hell. But how did one kill an immortal? An immortal who can create immortals on top of that? Kymin was pulled out of his thoughts when Felix said he was going to leave now. He looked up at the blue eyed male for a moment. He didn't want to make this any harder than it had to be, but...The black haired ninja slowly approached Felix again and pressed his lips against the other male's softly, and for a few moments. "I love you," he breathed after he broke the kiss. "Be careful," he said as he backed away from Felix a few steps. He looked at the other male for a few moments before he bowed his head and turned to start back for the hotel. He'd pick Vishnu up in a bit.

Felix didn't remember why they were fighting to began with. He did know that standing out in this rain was making him feel even more miserable than he should have been. And he also knew that he was fairly exhausted. Adrenaline had blocked out the horror of what was being done to his heart, but it was becoming apparent that it was quickly fading away, leaving the blue eyed shinobi feeling weak. This bag over his shoulder suddenly felt like it weighed a ton and his head was spinning. That miserable feeling grew a bit more when Kymin moved close and kissed him. Felix's tears mixed with the rain. He felt so broken. He watched Kymin walk away, wishing he could go after him, but maybe this was better. "I love you." Felix didn't want this. He took a step forward but froze and raised his hand to his chest. His heart ached from that damned cage, but it ached more with longing for Kymin to return to him. It was like adding fuel to the flame. Felix slowly dropped to his knees. He'd rather die than continue like this. Continue to suffer and cause people to suffer. "I give up," he whispered. "If you want someone to do you dirty work, find someone else, I'm done. I'm done."

Kymin tried to keep from looking back at Felix as he walked, because he knew if he did, he'd probably go running back to try and keep his silver haired soul mate from leaving him. But he couldn't do that, because...because being around him really was causing him pain, just not in the way he'd first thought. In the end, he couldn't help but to look back, to see if Felix had started walking away yet. What he saw was not what he'd expected. Kymin froze in place when he saw Felix on his knees and for a few long moments, didn't move. He felt like a deer trapped in the headlights. He didn't know what to do. Would it hurt Felix if he went back? But what if something was seriously wrong? What if the reason Felix was hurting was because he wasn't far enough away? In the end, he started towards Felix at a quick pace, kneeling down in front of the other ninja, giving a slight gasp when his arm shifted, but quickly spoke to cover it up. "Felix, Felix, maybe it's better if you go tomorrow," he said quickly. He was scared, because what if his coming over made the pain worse? "Angel are you okay??"

Felix didn't have the will to live anymore. He was going to sit here and fade. Yeah, that was the plan. He wasn't going to be anymore pet anymore. If he was going to go down, it was going to be on his his own accord and this was the easiest way to do it. Felix barely heard Kymin when he told him to leave tomorrow. It was just so freakin cold out here. He tiredly looked at his fiance when he was asked if he was okay. Felix shook his head. "I'm just tired," he mumbled. He leaned forward so he could bury his face into Kymin's shoulder. "I'm just so tired Kymin." Why wouldn't someone just end it for him? Why were people so cruel? Felix's eyes slid closed. "So freakin tired...." He could go like this. Close to Kymin and his green eyed lovers warmth. Yeah, this was okay.

Kymin swallowed once Felix started mumbling. Oh god. Oh god, what was going on? The black haired ninja slowly lifted Felix's face to look at him, his hand shivering as he did so. When he looked into Felix's eyes, he very nearly had a panic attack right there. "Felix, I'm here angel. Come on, we'll get you some rest," he said. He didn't care much for the pain in his arm when he forced himself to lift Felix and hold him to his chest as he started into the house, glad he hadn't bothered to close the door behind him earlier. He kicked the door shut behind him, gritting his teeth as he carried Felix, trying his best to keep his breathing even. Fuck this hurt. When he got the silver haired man to the bedroom, he took the guy's bag and put it next to the bed after laying Felix down. His eyes had started watering a bit, he was sure. He'd never had to carry the full weight of a person while his arm was fractured before, and it hurt like hell. He'd tried to keep most of Felix's weight on his upper arm, but it still hadn't been enough. Kymin sat down next to Felix on the bed, before pulling the silver haired ninja onto his lap. "Hey angel, I'm here...please stay with me...I know it's a selfish request, but you can't go out like this...please..." The tears that had threatened from the pain earlier were now silently spilling over for a different reason. Felix was fading. Oh god, his lover was fading, his soul mate was fading, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Kymin's voice sounded so far away. Felix's eyes flickered open for a brief moment when he was picked up, but they shut closed a moment later. He was so tired and it all just felt so peaceful. Why hadn't he done this earlier in life. There was no pain, just a peaceful warmth washing over him. Felix's eyes remained closed when he heard the door shut. Even when he was carried to the room he remained silent. It was when Kymin had started talking again did those icy blue orbs that looked unbelievably dull open. "But it's so quiet," he whispered. He blinked and reached up a hand to Kymin's face. "Don't cry," he told his lover. "It's warm, like you." And dark. Unnervingly dark. Felix let out a content sigh and relaxed against Kymin. The pain in his heart had ceased and he was feeling very at peace. "I love you...Kymin."

When Felix opened his eyes, the sight only fueled Kymin's tears. The color was leaving, that warm black color that Kymin had come to love so fondly. "Felix, please no...i-if you leave me like this now I'll never forgive you, I swear I won't," he sobbed quietly, brushing Felix's hair from his eyes before leaning down and placing a kiss on Felix's forehead. "I'm begging you Felix, not now...don't leave me..." The black haired ninja couldn't help that his body had started shaking with the tears. Couldn't help that he no longer cared about the pain in his arm, when the pain in his heart seemed so much greater. Couldn't help that he wanted Felix to stay with him, even though the guy felt so at piece. He felt like the more Felix faded away, the more he was losing pieces of his own soul. He wouldn't be able to handle losing Felix, he just wouldn't. "I love you so much Felix," he sobbed lightly, pressing his forehead into Felix's neck as he did, cradling the silver haired ninja against his chest with his left arm.

Why was Kymin being so selfish? Felix didn't want Kymin to not forgive him, so he supposed he'd have to stay. He sighed softly and tried to pull himself from that warm darkness that was ever so welcoming. His blue eyes flickered back open, but it didn't change the fact that he was tired. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered softly when Kymin held him against his chest. He would have patted Kymin on the head had he not been so drained. "So please don't cry. I don't want to see you sad like this," he told Kymin. "I'm sorry, I won't leave you, I promise." Even as he spoke he was having a hard time staying conscious.

The relief that washed over him when Felix said he wouldn't leave somehow didn't stop the tears. They couldn't stop now, he was sure of it. "I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely, continuing to hold Felix against him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." Even though Felix had said he wasn't going anywhere, he swore he felt his heart speeding up. Faster than it should have been going. His breaths starting coming in heavier as he tried to calm down, but it didn't help. Nothing was helping. "I love you," he repeated, keeping his head buried into Felix's shoulder. He wanted to hold Felix with both his arms, but every time he tried to move the one, he ended up giving a small gasp of pain. He couldn't stop thinking...what would have happened if he hadn't looked back?