A Way to Forget

"I like having lunch with you," he said with a smirk. "You tend to keep me entertained during my meals. What better way to eat." He then seemed to drift off into another time when Kim asked if it had happened before. "Being a ninja is all I know," he spoke absently. "It's the only thing I'm good at. I've been doing this for a very long time and it seems like it's easier than dealing with the everyday troubles of life. For me it starts to get repetitive seeing the same things happen over and over again, but with being a ninja, there's always new surprises. Eventually I become so lost in it that I forget what it means to actually be a human being. It's almost addicting." He glanced to Kim. "What's the point of giving that all up for something that won't last forever?" He turned his gaze away and sighed. "Sorry...I didn't mean to get all serious on you." He gave a weak smile. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Oh do I? Hm. Glad I can entertain you," Kim said, raising his glass slightly with a small chuckle before taking a drink. He listened quietly to Felix speak. How was this guy not a complete wreck? He was unable to do the one thing that made him happiest. Then again, when he thought about it, Felix did have Suki. So it wasn't like he had absolutely nothing that made him happy. "What do you mean...something that won't last forever?" Was something going on between him and Suki? Kim frowned lightly, looking down at his glass. He looked back to Felix with a blink when the guy apologized. "No...it's okay. If you wanna talk about it, I'm always here to listen man." Kim was positive he was one of the only men he knew that would ever say something like that. "Not much since yesterday," he joked lightly.

"Stuff just doesn't last forever," he said quietly. "No matter how badly I want it to. Eventually everyone and everything slips away," he spoke. "Friends, family, and loved ones." He shook his head. "It's almost gotten to the point where I don't bother to try anymore." He sighed. "I feel trapped without an escape. One day it's going to be just me and then I'll go back to who I used to be when I first lost it all." An assassin who killed in cold blood without question. He was with Servent back then and some days he wanted to go back.

Kim frowned lightly and shifted one of his legs onto the couch so he could be facing the silver haired male. "You know...I've noticed something," he said lightly, resting an arm on the back of the couch so he could comfortably lean against it. "You speak like you've seen a lot more years than just thirty-eight. Like right now. I don't doubt that you've lost a lot, but you always talk about things not lasting forever as if you mean more than just a few years." He paused. He wasn't about to delve any deeper into that, because he didn't have a damned idea what he was talking about. He'd heard rumors of immortality, but to say Felix had it just because of his speech patterns was a big jump. "Look," he said with a small sigh. "You have Suki, and she's not going anywhere. You two are gonna be together for a long time, right? So you're not ever gonna be alone. She loves you too much to leave you." He made sure not to say that he'd be there for him. He didn't want to get the guy's hopes up too much.

Felix looked Kim in the eyes when the guy spoke. He truly did envy mortals. They were so oblivious to the world around them. They spent their entire lives trying to make it to the top only you fail and die. It was a tragic ending if one thought about it, but that was the ending Felix wanted. He'd give anything to spend his life trying to succeed only to pass away before his goals were completed. He wondered if he should tell Kim or not. When the guy finished speaking he nodded slowly. "Maybe I'm just old," he finally stated. "Time flies when you're a ninja." He then forced a smile when Kim said him and Suki would be together a long time. "Yeah, you're right." He looked off to the side. It would have been easier to fade out of existence.

Kim frowned lightly. Maybe Felix really was depressed. What sucked was that the blue haired mechanic didn’t know how he was possibly going to try and make Felix any less depressed when he himself was a depressed wreck. Putting his glass on the table, Kim looked to the silver haired male. “Hey. Look Felix, things are gonna be okay, alright?” Kim bit his lip lightly. God damn it, he didn’t know how to help Felix. “Know what…let’s go get something to eat,” he suggested lightly, tilting his head to the side. Felix had mentioned earlier that he'd been hungry, and though he'd said that he'd had lunch with Suki, maybe a bit of food and fresh air would cheer the guy up. Honestly, Kim just didn't want to see Felix down in the dumps like this, because he knew exactly how it felt, and it wasn't a good feeling.

Felix hadn't meant to turn this around to be about himself, it was just that Kim had offered and he didn't have many people who were willing to do that. He wondered if that willingness would change if Kim knew what he'd done in the past. Felix felt his heart skip a beat. Would he cut their friendship off? Or tell Suki about the darker parts of his life? Felix didn't want to know the answer. He got up and headed for the door. "Onigiri with pickled-plums would be nice."

When Felix got up, Kim pushed himself off the couch, finishing off the rest of his drink. He'd been careful to only take drinks when Felix hadn't been looking at him. It was surprising, but his hands hadn't shook as much this time around. However, he was still going to be careful about how much he used his hands when he was around Felix. The blue haired mechanic blinked. "Seriously? Onigiri with pickled-plums?" Kim couldn't help but to give a small chuckle. "That's one of my favorite foods," he mentioned. "Let me, uh...get dressed before we go out, kay?" he said, heading towards his room. "I'll be just a minute."

Felix nodded lightly when Kim asked seriously. "Yeah," he replied. "It's my favorite food as well," he started. His eyes glowed lightly. What were the chances that they both looked the same good. Felix didn't really think too much on it. He nodded when Kim said he had to get dressed first. "Take your time."

A couple minutes later, Kim came out of his room in a pair of black pants and a black shirt with blue designs over it. As usual, his clothing made him look more like a teenager than his actual age would dictate. "Alright," he said, stretching as he approached Felix. "Let's get going." Only a moment after he said that, his foot caught in a lifted spot of the rug, causing him to topple right over into the silver haired male.

Felix was looking at the door when Kim came out. The silver haired male turned when Kim spoke. "Okay, let's go," he said with a nod and turned to open the door only to hear Kim trip. Felix turned and caught the guy without a problem, although his blue eyes were hidden behind his silver hair. "You okay," he asked as he held Kim for a long moment before standing him upright. Felix looked off to the side. "How'd you trip?"

Kim's eyes widened as he fell, grasping onto the first thing he could, which just so happened to be Felix. The blue haired mechanic found his face buried against Felix's chest for a few moments, and for whatever reason, his heart started beating a bit faster. He was sure it had nothing to do with adrenaline, however. "Uh...y-yeah, I'm fine," he chuckled lightly. He pulled his foot from under the rug, but realized that Felix hadn't yet released him. His brown eyes placed their gaze up at the silver haired male's face, straightening himself up. However, doing that without pushing on Felix meant that he ended up fairly close to the other male. He could practically hear his heart beating in his chest, and wondered if Felix could as well. Kim took care to take a step back in order to not make the other guy uncomfortable. "My foot got caught in the rug," he said in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck with a small smile.

Felix was a bit quiet while Kim was propped against him. His heart had skipped a beat and for a moment he wasn't sure what to do. When Kim stepped back Felix was allowed to breath, although he hadn't been aware that he was holding his breath. "Oh," he simply stated when Kim said his foot had got caught on the rug. Instinctively Felix looked to the rug and then back up to Kim. "Are you ready to go," he asked. His blue eyes searched Kim's face for a moment before he stepped back towards the door. He hadn't had that feeling since Kymin. Those two were so much alike that it hurt. Part of him wanted Kim to be a reincarnated Kymin, but he knew enough time hadn't passed. He looked off to the side. What did he care about that goofball anyway? All he wanted to do was apologize for getting him killed, especially without giving a proper goodbye.

If Kim had been a woman, he was sure he would have been blushing at that brief contact with the older male. It was a fact that Kim was attracted to Felix. There was no denying it. However, the guy was married to his best friend. True and honest, that was the only thing holding Kim back. He loved Suki, he really did. She was his best friend. He didn't want to do anything to hurt her. "Yeah, I'm good," he nodded, following after the silver haired male. "I know a place that sells pretty good riceballs. It's their specialty. They have all different kinds," he mentioned, giving Felix a small smile as he passed by the guy, locking the door behind them. "Wanna head there?" If he was so reluctant to hurt Suki...why had he imagined that little accident earlier ending in a kiss?

(I imagined it too Kim, don't feel bad.)

Felix nodded slowly. His heart had been racing, but it was slowing to it's normal beat. Letting Kim move past him he waited for him to start off. "Riceballs sound good to me," he said with a small smile. If it had been during any other time then yes, Kim would have been his. That little experience with Kymin had made him want to explore into that foreign realm. Like he'd said before, he'd never really thought about it until that moment. Felix looked to Kim and watched him for a few heartbeats and then followed after him.

"I've had their onigiri with pickled plums before, it's amazing," he commented, trying to dispel some of the awkwardness that incident had seemingly caused. Kim looked back to Felix. Sometimes he wished Suki wasn't with him. Looking back in front of him, he crossed his arms behind his head. At least he wouldn't have to worry about handling a fork when he was eating onigiri. Maybe he'd just stick with eating the riceballs for the meantime. "You know, I've lost track of time. How long have you been in the Gears again?" he asked curiously.

Felix had his mind wander. The thoughts of his past where keeping him from paying much attention to Kim. It was nice because he didn't have to focus on the awkwardness of it all. Suddenly he found himself being spoken to about the Gears. "I don't really know," he said with a shrug. A few years I suppose. Give it take a few years." He smiled lightly. "If that onigiri is as good as you claim then I am ecstatic." He grinned and then caught up to the younger male. "How long have you lived here?"

Kim looked at the grinning Felix. The guy was in a better mood. That was good. He didn't like seeing Felix depressed. "A few years...man, time has really flown hasn't it..?" he pondered aloud. "Don't worry, it is." The blue haired mechanic blinked at the question. "Me..? Most of my life," he said. "I think my parents moved here when I was about three, though I don't really remember. I don't remember much about living anywhere other than the Gears. I mean, I remember something about snow, but I'm not sure if that's just a dream or not," he said with a small smile.

Felix smiled when Kim spoke of snow. How nice, Kim may have come from the snow, but it snowed in more than one place too. He decided not to question it since Kim didn't seem bothered by it. "I told you that it flies back," he said with a smile. His eyes glowed lightly. Time, it was endless.

"It sure does," Kim pondered aloud, giving a small "hm" as he walked. "There it is," he pointed out a moment later. He was glad the restaurant wasn't too far from his home. Made it easy to walk there when he wanted something to eat. "By the way, my treat," he said with a small smile, taking a seat at a booth.

Felix slid into the booth next to Kim. "Why are you treating me," he asked. "I wanted to treat you earlier and you told me no." He crossed his arms and shrugged. "I guess I'll let it slid this time around." He looked the restaurant over. It was nice. He would come here more often.

Kim gave a small smile at Felix's question. "Because I can," he said with a nod. "I told you no earlier because I didn't have much of an appetite and just didn't want to go." When the waiter came over, he addressed Kim in a familiar manner. "Hey, give me a plate of onigiri with pickled plums and a pot of hot tea," he said, before turning his gaze to Felix.

"So now you want to go? You're strange." Felix chuckled lightly and then ordered. "Can I get onigiri with pickled plum as well. And red bean soup please." He looked to Kim. "You know, next time I'm treating, no questions asked, because I said so."

"If I didn't want to go, we wouldn't be here," Kim teased. "You're the strange one," he said, giving the waiter a wave as the guy walked away. Sometimes Kim wondered if that waiter had a thing for him. Oh well. The blue haired mechanic turned his attention back to Felix. "Tch, fine fine, if you wanna waste your money, then go ahead." He paused. "But I got this time," he said with a nod.

Felix smiled. He had plenty to waste. He's spent a majority of it helping to build orphanages. Now that those were established he needed something else to blow his money on. Food was a start."I doubt I'm strange. Maybe a bit insane, but not strange." He grinned lightly. Just getting out of the house was nice. No one could deny that.